My Safe Place

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Something about me nobody knows my feels i cant leave behind the self hate i have for myself the fake smile i put on .

Submitted: April 19, 2017

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Submitted: April 19, 2017

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My safe place

By unknow

 

My safeplace is in my head where most can’t come my mind is a wonderful place where i can dream where  i can be me because the outside world don’t understand the outside world don’t understand how it feel to be me waking up is a struggle life i feel is be me to open my eyes and to know your unwanted in this world i feel everytime i look at somebody they look back at me in cold stare i have a hard to understanding why i was placed on this earth .

In my head i escape from everything that's why i call my head my safe place , my safe space is where  i go to explore my boundaries in life where i feel safe from those who words do self harm . i feel like i can't be free unless i make myself free . I hate myself sometimes i put on this front like i'm fine all the time but thats not true im a tired angry teen that looks for that place where i can fell myself where i can be wanted where i can let me mind be m y mind where i can be me where i can sit and let life take it crouse ………………………. I surround myself with people that i think less of knowing in all honesty i wish i can be more like i wish i was as open as most of my friends more there more “ popping “ i feel unsafe even in my safe place where it turns into more like a danger zone … i feel i cant open my mind to my parents because they will think im crazy instead of getting to know who i im without saying im crazy or looking at me wrong or saying that i need to go to suicide camp because when i open but they dont be there for me they shame me they tell me that im crazy or im dumb or tell the whole family ima shut in or i just dont wanna do nothing ….. I do wanna go out an do stuff i just think im very depressed inside nobody understands but me …. I don't want petty or i don't want people to help me i just wanna let life take its course . nobody understand me like i understand myself  … i feel like things around me break down and fall apart my life is a mess i'm a shut in and i really don't care … i push people always because i feel like im to ungrateful to be around them …. I feel like i embarrassed myself when i open my mouth . i push everybody away because  i know that i can never be apart of the natural way of life i really hate myself because i know i can't really submit to life…. I really feel like i can't be on earth .. i feel like my mom life would be better without me sometimes everybody seems so happy without me ………..i feel like i fight i battle of depression everyday i wake up …..i feel like my whole family would be happy without me … i feel like i lose apart of me everyday  i wake up i feel like it's important to talk to your kids about this stuff before it's too late …..life is sad , life is terrible . i truly hate myself ….. Maybe things will change an i grow out this angry teen stage  because it truly makes me hate myself in every way .

 


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