The life so far

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is justbhow my story is as of now

Submitted: April 20, 2017

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Submitted: April 20, 2017

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A A A


This is my life i was born in a small town. At my house you sone chores, homework, and any outside work i had before could play. Very strict parenting done learn really any compassion. I wasn't rich or popular i was the shrimp that got bullied. Bullying just got worse especially when your 10 and sick and poop in the middle of class, because teacher won't allow bathroom break. So from there forward bullying got pretty bad but never told anyone until now. Which by the time i got into 8th grade made me a very angry person. Had a few girlfriends in school not many because i am not that good looking. But with them and every other person i was close to that were female. Would find someone else and just start talking to them then i would be shoved aside and forgotten about. Which thats when i come to the conclusion i was wothless and couldn't be truly loved. Started hanging with the bad boys and quit school. Started workimg and partying. Then got introduce to this woman that was 4 years older than me married young had couple kids and divorced few years later. Which didnt bother me because it wasnt really love it was to get away from parents and she could buy alcohol. Well there i was young divorced and 2 kids to raise couldn't do it let family do it. So i also lost my job at sametime because closed down so sit around. Drank done pretty much what all young person does in there 20's. Got a job offer from another company tied to the one that closed. Worked there partied and met the most amazing woman. She is very talented and very beautiful, and drop dead gorgeous. We hit it off still dont see what she seen in me. We got married had kids done pretty good. Health got bad from all partying and cigarettes. So doctor aaid quit or die so i quit. But partied more lost everything. Started over got new job then became a give me all drugs no matter what kind mixing stuff. She straightened up and i didnt. Mixed wrong or something one day we fought i lost it and raped her. Yes my own wife went to jail looking at 2 life sentences. She left the state found someone else but came back. I got help and done good almost 6 yrs then we had problems. We planned a big move and ahe voiced a concern and was asking old friends for advice and i got paranoid and jealous. I asked a friend which was her old bff and she really wasnt. She told me all this stuff got me paranoid and i was already weak and vulnerable. So i done the next worst thing in my life i left everyone for her. But got there and figured out it was all crap. But i was stick no job no money no way to go. So had to wait until family got me a ticket out. Found my wife and kids and showed back up. Had fights and arguments get along sometimes. Knew it was going to be hard but i have to try to fix my disasters. Started getting along a little better partied some. Got job making ok wife met knew friends i got to come every now and then. Started getting jealous and down we started. The one guy i was jealous of really botherwd me so me and wife sit and talked o e night. She thought and said maybe stop hanging out there and go somewhere else. We both agreed but had to take new friend over to look at something the old guy friend was selling. So wife needed help with something he was experienced in and went back for help. Then we argued because of ideas i had after talking to others. So she left for a few days still pissed at me. Went to help her one day while gone got in a screaming fight in car and acted a fool and scared her. Now she home but we are distant my fears, jealousy, and anger have cost me all my life. Thats where this story is at this point. Me trying to fix not only a broken me which deatroys everything but also trying to save my marriage. The thing i found though is my issues run way back to my past. I think im worthless, dont think capable of being loved, and that im a complete failure.


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