Journal 1: Why I Write
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Miscellaneous by: Skylar Kristofer
My name is Skylar Skinner and I am writing this weekly journal as a way to express my opinions and views on different things, which is ironically one of the main reasons for this particular subject (being a main reason as to why I write). I don't expect feedback on it, it's more of just for anyone who really wants to know more about the sort of person I am, nothing else. I guess you could call it a blog of sorts.
First off, I don't write to change peoples' lives. I don't consider myself anybody's hero (except myself, but I feel as if that should be a different subject altogether). I write to express my feelings, which sounds cliche, but I don't really care. I never really was that great at expressing them otherwise until well after I had started writing, which was about four or five years ago. If my feelings and views save other people, then more power to them. That isn't supposed to make me sound ungrateful of any fans I may or may not have, believe me, I love hearing feedback and I enjoy the idea that I can make people happy.
When I started writing, I was at the peak of the hormonal changes that puberty entails, so a lot of my early works are edgey and a littly sketchy. I'd also like to mention that most of my writings didn't make it on this site. It was crude, I guess that's the truth, but that's how most artists start off isn't it? I mean, I wasn't born with a natural talent to write, it was just the easiest way for me to show off a talent that I WAS born with-- empathy.
I was writing mostly to save myself at the time. Due to my emotional state (which was no doubt because of hormones, as I said) I was doing a lot of things that I didn't agree with before I was doing them and I don't really agree with now. I was introduced to drugs (marijuana and spice-- or fweed as I called it) and I was constantly finding ways to get high. I did eventually get cleaned up, but the drugs always came back until about a year ago, when I had finally graduated, intellectually speaking. I was also into self-harm, which is something that a lot of people my age were doing. The difference between me and them, however, was the fact that I did it in places people couldn't see because I did it as a form of self-punishment. I can explain all of this another time.
As I continued to write, I realized more about myself slowly. I figured out that I am a lot smarter than my grades show and that I actually had something going for myself, if I could at least find a career in the future to actually use this talent. My writing adapted from very abstract to very literal, to both literal and abstract-- like a parable. There is generally a deeper meaning behind what I write now (not that I always see it until looking at it later). I eventually started delving into short stories to express different emotions. I wrote a poem that I don't believe I posted on this site that expressed my hatred towards hate. I like contradiction. I think contradiction is honestly what keeps a conversation going.
I mostly write now as a way of expressing emotions I guess. But also to send a message for anyone who can think like I can or who can say they've gone through some of the things that I have gone through (which isn't ultimately that bad, but it could have been better).
The reason I choose poetry as my medium for expression probably stems from childhood dreams of being in a band as well as my love for music. I also feel that out of all of the forms of writing, you can capture art with phrases and lyricism, as well as metaphore and simile. I also think that fucking around with formatting on the poems is a pretty cool way of doing it too.
I suppose that's all I have for the reason behind my obsession with writing. It is a form of art that all people can use and also enjoy. Writing keeps me calm. Writing keeps me up-to-date with my own thinking process and state of mind. Writing is my weapon.
© Copyright 2018 Skylar Kristofer. All rights reserved.
Comments
I know you said you weren't wanting comments, Sky, but I just want to add why I write -- because I want to and in an attempt to stay sane!
An excellent write, both open and honest!
It's always good to remember why you started writing in the first place, because it can help you stay motivated. I started writing as a way to express my feelings, which is still something that I do. Now I write for a few more reasons, including because I like the feedback and being able to put my writing out there. If other people get helped by my writing, it's a bonus. I used to write stories at a young age but switched to poetry because I have so many ideas and things I wanna talk about and this is the best medium for me. And for my love of music (specifically hip hop/rap) that drew me in. Fantastic work! I hope you keep doing these.
Thank you for the comment! I think music was really what brought me to poetry because I used to listen to a certain song and rewrite it in my head. I plan on continuing these, not only to add content, but to really find out more about myself. When I wrote this, I found out why I really started writing in the first place. It's one of those things where you don't really think about it until you ask yourself the question. I'm still not sure what I should do for this week. I'm thinking religious views or moral views. Maybe even addiction. I'm open to ideas though!
Yes! Music and poetry will always go hand in hand. What kind of music drew you into poetry?This is interesting - I'm still figuring out why I write - but I know it's not for other people. Occasionally I'll write a piece dedicated to someone, or with that person in mind, but at the end of the day, I'm writing purely for myself.
You said writing keeps you calm, I wonder if it's just me but, do you feel low when you haven't written properly in awhile - either writer's block or simply not finding the time? I'm just curious to see if it's just me. Because in a way that suggests I kind of have an addiction to writing - better than drugs tho right :)
Anyway, this was a nice read - although is it really a weekly journal :)
Lol, it was supposed to be, but, just like most of my stories, I just haven't gotten around to writing more.
To answer your first question, I'd have to say ALL of the music. From MCR to Johnny Cash to Marilyn Manson. It doesn't really matter what type of music lol it's actually mostly individual songs that make the inspiration flow. In hindsight, most of the things that I've written, either stories or poetry, were inspired or loosely based on a song. I've actually been working out a story in my head based on a series of concept albums lol I'll have it posted sometime in the next year, I just want to make sure that it's more than a short story. If I decide it's a novel idea (pun intended) then I want to have at least three chapters done before I post the first.
When I started writing I always felt angry upset about something, so a lot of my older stuff is mostly venting to anybody willing to listen. Lately, I have been exploring different ways of calming myself because all in all, writing is just a way of making the bottling-up process slower. And yes, a lot of the time when I don't write in awhile, I'll beat myself up over it, but I've been working on that by simply making a small poem in my head and storing them in my mental file cabinet. And yes, I can tell you that being addicted to writing is waaay better than being addicted to drugs lol
Thank you for taking the time to read my little journal thingie lol I appreciate the comments and the questions :)
Hmm...I love the part "Writing is a weapon".
Great job,expecting more!
I am just speechless.
You have gone through so much and to bare part of your soul like this is both brave and awe-inspiring. I am so glad you have come out at the other end, Skylar.
I have a teen daughter who is going through a rough patch and if you don't mind I will ask her to read this. She also writes and has her own blog.
Thanks for sharing. :-)
I don't mind at all, and I would also be interested in reading her blog, assuming she is fine with that. Thank you for your kind words, though I'm not sure if my stories are awe-inspiring. I just write from the heart, I suppose that's the secret that everyone knows lol
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