United : A House of Ghosts Collab

#Firstcomment ;)

Oh this was a good chapter! I felt so proper reading this XD like I wanted to be like super posh and I low key read everything in an English accent...forgive me. Anyways I liked that Klause was keeping up a facade with the people around him but dropped it as soon as everyone left the room. Although it does make me worried why he feels he needs to keep up the lie? Is it just because of what we know so far, his family needing to keep their name or is it something more? 0.0 Anyways good work giving us those sweet moments between him and his butler Xander (assuming that's what he is) and between Klause and his mom I loved that she was so understanding. I am excited to meet his sister she sounds like a wild card and I'm sure this isn't the last we've heard of her! What a great way to start off the series and I can't wait to see Klause again! :)

I like Klauses life, like literally I wish I could live it. He's basically bat man but like more toned down. I feel like this was a perfect beginning to the collab because it was so calm. alos I feel like I could hear orchestral music playing in the background while I read, like he was listening to a gramma phone wile he was doing his office work.

The dialogue was perfect I have to say I adored it, the posh uppity proper speech set the tone for the setting so amazingly and the way his mother was dressed all fril kind of made m smile because I half expected it. It was like the so obvious rich life style that everyone envisions and he has it. He can do anything and have anything. This was great I loved it.

Great way to start off this collab, awesome job. Really well written and it kept a nice plotline throughout the chapter. Klaus seems like an interesting character and I'm sure there is more to his story! Can't wait to read more about him!

Well, it seems my chapter was first. Huh, fancy that. Anyhow, I tried, and honestly, I can see a few problems, specifically the pacing. The ending was slightly rushed, in honesty. I'm glad for the feedback, though, and I think I have some ideas now.

Pretty interesting start here. Klaus seems like a character with room to grow as a person when he experiences life away from his usual comforts. The fact that he's putting on a bit of an act is intriguing for a couple if reasons. As Ghost mentioned, the reasoning behind his facade is an interesting mystery to think about. Im also personally interested to see how Klaus interacts with my character, Zephyr, due to the similar wealthy backgrounds Will we be friends or will we get off on the wrong foot due to Klaus's facade and Zeph's cynicism? Its pretty fun to think about. Also Really liked the dialogue, the way the sentences are structured really give a sense of personality. It was an important touch to show that his family was more than just wealthy but also put a great emphasis on appearance and reputation. As for some criticism, I noticed a couple if instances where you have multiple lines of dialogue from more than one person in the same paragraph. Could just be a mistake or my phone playong tricks but separating them helps with readability. Anyway, all in all an interesting start. Nice work.

Excellent start. I enjoyed the flow and descriptions. The emotions are also well written and didn't feel forced or over the top. Mmm, wealthy people, they really do live differently, lol. I feel for Klause, can't be easy to live up to everyone's expectations and forgoing your own. A few sweet moments bubbled up, and then we saw a little more of the real Klause. I like this character, and I can't wait to read more about him.

I absolutely love the first chapter! What a wonderful start to the story! Though..... (And I'm just nitpicking, I don't mean to be rude :) ) Some of the tenses (As in past and present tense ) are a little bit off. You might want to check that, just saying. Thanks, and keep up the great work!

I should've got to this sooner, hahaha, but I am here now, and this was a great way to start off the collab. This character tries too hard to be someone he isn't, haha. I am hoping, as this collab continues, that he will learn to relax and be himself around some of these other characters that are in this too. I think that would be really great to see. I am interested in why he tends to be like this though, and hope to get a better understanding of it at a later date :D anyway, great job :)