Paradisum

Paradisum

Status: In Progress

Genre: Romance

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Status: In Progress

Genre: Romance

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Chapter1 (v.1) - Chapter 1

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: April 25, 2017

Reads: 37

A A A | A A A

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: April 25, 2017

A A A

A A A

1

 

I was sitting alone at the bar of one of the local dive clubs, sucking down my fourth whisky in the hour and a half I had been here. I visited this club often, so Noah, the usual bartender, knew me both by name and by drink, and I knew him at least somewhat. Noah was standing by me behind the bar trying to make small talk with my breasts, as he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off my cleavage. Yes I knew Noah had feelings for me. I’d seen the looks and picked up on the not so subtle flirting, but as much as I tried I just wasn’t interested. There aren’t a lot of men out there who really caught my attention. In fact in my 27 years, only one man had been able to get my attention in a serious way. I mean if a guy asked me out I would go on a date or two with them in hopes to finally find the man to make me forget him. It never worked. By the end of most dates I was always comparing them to him. No matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I focus on what my date is saying, my mind always wanders back to high school and how things were before he disappeared from my life forever.

 

Emerging from my thoughts of the past, I toss back the last swallow of my whiskey. I welcomed the familiar burn that washed away the rest of the memories from the simplicity of the past.

“Rough day?” Noah pried while I stared at my glass, willing it to refill itself.

“Hmm?” I slurred, not quite comprehending the question through the haze of whiskey.

“I haven’t seen you knock back whiskey like this in quite some time babe. What gives?”

 

Noah may have been a little too forward with his advances and obvious with his stares, but I had to give the man credit. He really did seem to care what had happened to make today so bad. That didn’t necessarily mean I was going to give him the awful truth, but I could at least confide in him a little bit.

 

“Today is a very unpleasant anniversary,” I realized that I had been drinking more than I thought because I was having to concentrate way too hard on my words. “It’s a day I’d like to forget really”. There. That was enough that he would stop prying, but not enough to have to relive the whole truth of what really happened that night.

 

********************************************

Are you sure you want to do this?” James’s voice was deep, and husky with emotion and want.

“Positive,” I assured him with a small smile. “James I trust you. I promise it’ll be okay. I love you.”

“Oh Ava” was all he had time to say before I crushed my lips to his in a hungry anxious kiss.  I knew I wanted to do this. I had imagined this moment for I don’t even know how long, and so far it was perfect.

“Ava wait,” He panted as he pulled away from my kiss, “Don’t forget, if for any reason you need me to stop all you have to do is say so. I will stop and we can wait to try it again.”

“James, I have never been more sure about anything. I will be fine.”

“Just promise me you’ll stop me if you decide to stop.”

“ I promise.”

“Thank you.” James practically sighed with a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He gave me a quick kiss as he reached into his nightstand for the condom. He pulled away from me slightly and I heard the tear of the foil packet. My heart was starting to pound, we were really about to do this.

“Ready?” James practically panted above me.

“Yes,” I was so sure that this is what I wanted. I love James with all my heart, and I know that nothing in the world will ever be able to tear us apart.

As I was staring up at James’s handsome face, he slowly pushed himself into me, filling me. I gasped at the foreign feeling. He stopped when he heard my sharp intake of breath.

“Are you ok?” He asked, his voice filled with concern.

“I'm fine,” I smiled up at him trying to reassure him. “It’s just a new feeling, that’s all”

“New feeling? You said you’d had sex before.” I could hear the accusation in his words.

“I couldn’t actually feel anything with the last guy.”

“You couldn’t feel anything?”

“No, in fact I wasn’t even sure that we had actually had sex. I can just feel you a lot more than him is all.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No. Really I'm fine I promise.”

With that all talking ended. He started to move slowly at first, making sure I was still ok I think, then as I adjusted to the feeling, he started to move faster. We sank into a passionate rhythm, moving together as the night around us started to fade to dawn.

We lay panting in our post coital bliss, listening to the sounds of the city beginning to wake and begin their day.  I had had sex with one other guy before James, but it was nothing like this. This was different than the last time I had sex. This wasn’t just sex, this is what making love was. I had always heard that there was a difference between sex, making love, and just fucking. I never really understood what people were talking about, but now I did.

“I love you,” I sighed, enjoying the warmth of James’s body being so close to mine.

“Me too.” James mumbled sleepily.

“Why don’t you ever tell me you love me?”

“What do you mean? I just did”

“No you said ‘me too’. Whenever I tell you I love you that’s all you say. Why is that?”

“I don’t know. I hadn’t really noticed that I did that I guess.”

“Well  you do.” I pouted

“I’m sorry honey, I love you too.”

Then everything changed with those four little words. Suddenly there was a loud pounding at the front door down the hall.

“Shit!” James practically yelled, jumping out of bed.

“What’s wrong?” I asked sitting up holding the sheet to cover myself.

“I forgot my parents told me my older brother would be staying with us for a while. That's probably him, and I promised my parents you wouldn’t stay over”

“Oh shit!” I leaped out of bed and started scrambling around trying to find my clothes.

“Yeah ‘oh shit’ is right. Okay when you’re dressed sneak out the back door so neither of us get busted.”

“Okay I can do that.” I gave a short laugh as I finished dressing myself.

“I love you” James gave me a quick kiss as he ran toward the front door.

“I love you too” I called after him peeking around the corner to make sure the path to the

back door was clear. It was so I started to creep toward it as I heard James open his front door for his brother.

“Hi. What can I help you with?” James’s confused voice reached me from the front of the house. I heard a loud thud and crash on my way out the door, so I turned to make sure everything was okay. I will never forget what I saw that morning. When I turned I saw two huge guys in suits use some kind of taser on James, knocking him to the ground stunned.

“Hey!” I yelled from the back of the house “What the hell are you doing to him?”

“Ava run!” James called weakly. “Please Ava get out of here! Go!”

“I’m not leaving you James!” I screamed back as I headed back into the house to help.

“No Ava, run. I’ll be fine. I’ll call you” James’s sentence was cut off as the men hit him with the taser again, this time knocking him unconscious.

“If you were smart you would run and forget James.” The smaller of the two men said.

“No. He’s my boyfriend, and I’m not going anywhere. If you want to take him you’re going to have to take me too!” I stood my ground as I reached the foyer to stand my ground. Then everything went black. When I came to James’s brother Sam was hovering over me with

red and blue lights flashing behind his head. As everything became clearer I realized I was on a stretcher.

“Ava are you okay?” I could hear the concern in his voice. “Where’s James?”

“I don’t know two guys knocked on the door early this morning and took him I think.”

“Fuck!” He almost shouted the expletive, and with that I was put in the ambulance and taken to the hospital.

**************************************************

“Ava?” Noah’s voice broke through the haze of memories. “Ava are you alright?”

“What? Yeah I’m fine,” I could still hear the distraction in my voice.

“Where did you go just then?” Noah chuckled.

“What do you mean?” I was having trouble comprehending much of anything in my inebriated state.

“You zoned out for like five minutes honey. Where did you go in your mind.”

“Oh. It was just a memory from a long, long time ago.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really. It’s kind of a painful memory.”

“Well if you ever decide you want to share just let me know.’

“I will definitely keep that in mind,” I smiled. “Hey do you want to top me off?” I asked sliding my empty glass across the counter toward Noah.

“Are you sure? You’ve already had four.” I could hear the concern laced in his voice.

“I promise I’m fine. I just want to forget that night for today. Please Noah?” I know it’s not fair to play off Noah’s feelings for me, but he won’t usually let people go past three or four drinks.

“Fine, but this is the last one, then I’m cutting you off. You’re getting pretty smashed.”

“That’s fine. Thank you Noah. Really, I appreciate it.”

“You’re lucky you’re so damn cute.” He smiled as he topped off my glass.

Noah really was a great guy. I wish I felt the same as he did, I really did. He was so sweet and funny. I could tell he genuinely cared about me. I hated so much that I couldn’t make myself like him. I hated that whenever I thought about a guy, the only guy it was only ever James.  He was like a plague that wouldn’t go away. I sipped on my whiskey contemplating what it was about James that made him so damned different than the other guys I had dated over the last few years. I mean it was going on ten years since I had seen him last. After he went missing I looked for months and months, but there was absolutely no sign of who had taken him or where they had even taken him. I should be over him by now. I want to be over him. I want to be able to go on a date with a great guy like Noah, and fall in love, get married, have a family. I wanted to finally be happy without James.

I finished the last of my drink and stood up.

“You heading home?” Noah asked suspiciously.

“Yes, but before you freak out I am going to call a cab. I didn’t drive because I knew I wasn’t going to be able to drive home tonight.

“Okay good.” I could see the relief written all over his face.

“Have a good night Noah,” I smiled. “Thanks for everything.” I went to pay for my drinks, but someone slid the money across to Noah before I could even get to my wallet.

"Let me get that." I could hear the smile in his deep, husky voice. I froze right where I was standing.


© Copyright 2017 Harley Jo. All rights reserved.

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