Connections

Connections

You’ve made a connection!

Seth: Looks like we connected 

Quentin: This is the only time it worked for me.

Seth: It doesn’t connect people unless it’s totally sure. This is my second connection.

Quentin: What are we supposed to do? :/

Seth: I don’t know. It just means we have lots in common

Quentin: I’m not gay

Seth: I’m not gay either. Wish it hooked me up to a girl

Quentin: lol me too.

Seth: Where are you from?

Quentin: New York, you?

Seth: Rhode Island

Quentin: What’s it like there?

Seth: Shit. Wish I lived in New York.

Quentin: All the people here are cunts

Seth: Same here. Especially school. Everyone actually likes The OMG Sisters

Quentin: Fuck me. Same here.

Seth: My other connection’s online. Want me to invite him?

Quentin: Sure

• Nicholas was added to the conversation –

Seth: Hey man

Quentin: Hello Nick

Nicholas: Hey. A new connection huh?

Quentin: Yep

Nicholas: I only got Seth. This app takes fucking ages to connect people.

Quentin: I forgot I even downloaded it

Seth: The other kids at school all have like 20 matches.

Nicholas: It’s because they’re all clones of each other and like the same shit. The dumber and more vapid you are, the more connections you get.

Seth: Guess that makes me the most vapid one here

Quentin: How does the app actually work then?

Seth: It’s basically a spy. All your online activity goes to the cloud, so it follows you no matter what device you use. It watches what you look up, who you talk to, what you talk about, the forums you browse, how interested you are in certain things, what you buy. It knows you better than anyone else in your life, guaranteed. It knows your secrets.

Nicholas: It even monitors how long you spend on pages, how often you look them up, it gauges your interest in EVERYTHING. And it’s always updating itself. Shit gets smarter and smarter.

Seth: Right. Then it finds like-minded people. And you can all chat and shit and make new best friends *eye roll*

Nicholas: Some people move abroad and marry their connections. It’s so cringe.

Seth: Yeah, then they get divorced because they find a more connectionier connection. There’s always someone better.

Nicholas: Yep. And all the loners get to know they’re not alone

Seth: Cute

Quentin: I think it’s fucking creepy.

Nicholas: Totally

Seth: Init.

Quentin: Alright, let’s test it. What music do you guys listen to?

Seth: Crow Eyes, Nocturne, Hatred. Some of Shame’s earlier stuff, and Acid Flux. You?

Nicholas: I like Hatred and Acid Flux except ‘Cunning’ because it’s pandering. And Nocturne and Crow Eyes. And Killerz.

Quentin: Lol! So exactly the same shit. Also yeah I hate Cunning too.

Seth: Yeah I love Killerz too actually. I forgot to say. Ditto on the Cunning thoughts.

Quentin: Wonder why me and Nicholas didn’t match

Nicholas: Not enough in common. Seth’s the popular boy. I can add you though

• Nicholas sent you a friend request.
• Request accepted.

Quentin: Alright, fuck this I’m gonna sleep. School tomorrow.

Nicholas: Same

6:00 PM

Nicholas: Alright, boys?

Seth: Hey

Quentin: Hey

Nicholas: How’s school

Seth: Shit

Quentin: Shit

Nicholas: yeah, dogshit

Seth: Classmates are retarded

Nicholas: I hate them so fucking much

Quentin: People were in my face all day today. I was just tryna get on with things

Seth: They seriously don’t let up. And the teachers do fuck all about it

Nicholas: They think just coz I wear all black that I’m a serial killer

Quentin: I don’t even wear black and they say that about me. They think I’m really quiet just because I don’t join in their conversations about Kim K and ugh, just fuck off.

Seth: They think they’re so gangsta. It’s embarrassing.

Nicholas: And they think we’re the freaks.

Nicholas: They call me a school shooter just because I broke this guy’s nose after he kept FUCKING WITH ME

Seth: I’d shoot them up just because they’re always saying I’m gonna do it

Quentin: Lol yeah it’d be their own fault

Nicholas: They’d deserve it.

Seth: It’d be so worth it.

Quentin: Init

Nicholas: I would literally love to do it

Quentin: Imagine if all three of us shot up our schools at the same time 

Nicholas: That would really fuck with people lol

Seth: I’ve even got guns. My dad has them locked up.

Nicholas: My mum has a shotgun and two handguns. I’d shoot her too. She’s a fucking bitch.

Quentin: Yep. My dad’s the biggest asshole ever. Got a big gun collection though. I used them to shoot this cat once

Seth: I love shooting cats. Fucking assholes

Nicholas: No cats around here, but I stabbed a dog once. The neighbour asked me if I’d seen it anywhere and I said I didn’t lol

Nicholas: Hey do you guys wanna skype?

Seth: Yeah

Quentin: Ok here’s my address…

END