How can it be?

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: April 26, 2017

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Submitted: April 26, 2017

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Once again, I'm slipping,

spiraling down this endless tunnel,

that somehow tightens around me as I sink lower,

as I fall deeper,

Till I'm no longer breathing.

Till I'm gasping, drowning in this darkness.

 

A metaphor for my thoughts.

 

My thoughts,

my fucked up thoughts that I'm too scared to say aloud,

because once the words linger in the air,

changing the mood from light to dark within seconds,

and leaving this heavy weight on shoulders and hearts,

once they’re out in the open,

everyone will finally know.

 

And yet,

nothing will happen.

 

Dismissing something,

someone,

means you don't have to deal with it.

You don't have to find this solution.

You won't have to be this hero.

 

It’s almost like my words smother you

in negligence.

Disregard.

 

And I get it.

Or

I want to.

 

But what it really feels like,

is a fresh slap to the face,

that leaves a stinging mark.

 

A heart that's being squeezed,

tightly,

with your hands that aren't even aware,

you're making it worse.

 

You're hurting me more.

 

I have problems.

It's been said countless times.

And yet,

it's like talking out of my arse,

because I swear,

you don't seem to even bat an eyelid.

 

I can't look in a mirror and smile.

I can't get out of bed without feeling tired.

I have tears constantly in eyes,

when I'm left on my own.

 

When I have to deal with myself.

 

Because it means I'm lost

in my fucked up mind

and I'm lonely

bathing in this silence,

That burns my skin and somehow

makes me hear everything that is wrong.

 

I lost all interest the day loneliness swallowed me whole,

then spat me out into the land of existentialism.

 

I'm not well,

Just let me pop a pill

Just give me back my bottle.

 

I'm not well and you're ignoring me.

 

How can it be

that someone this small,

hurts this much?


 


© Copyright 2017 Hanah C. All rights reserved.

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