Super Sex and the City

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fan Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is the story of 4 emancipated women in New York. And yes! This is about sex! But not only, as with women sex is always linked with relationships. Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker), Samantha (Kim Cattrall), Charlotte (Kristin Davis), and Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) are the lucky role models for millions of women.

Submitted: April 28, 2017

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Submitted: April 28, 2017

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This is the story of 4 emancipated women in New York. And yes! This is about sex! But not only, as with women sex is always linked with relationships. Actually for most women, relationships are more important than sex, as women are the ultimate social animal. Their adventure should be called "Sex in the City" as they are city dwellers exclusively. They've never made any relationships in the countryside. So, no sex in the countryside, and no need to change the title.

Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker), Samantha (Kim Cattrall), Charlotte (Kristin Davis), and Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) are the lucky role models for millions of women. I introduce them to you one by one:

Carrie: the shortest, the blondest, and the main character. She is a thinker, wondering about everything, analyzing everything, finding ideas and getting to her own conclusions. She had to be the narrator for her introspective and curious mind. She had a big problem in relationships, and this problem had a name: Mr. Big

She thought a lot and had a lot to say. Let's go through it:

"They say nothing lasts forever; dreams change, trends come and go, but friendships never go out of style."

This is because friendships are not dreams, and don't come and go like trends. Here I'm talking about true friendships, not casual relationships.

"I've spent $40,000 on shoes and I have no place to live? I will literally be the old woman who lived in her shoes!"

As a man, I'll never understand the obsession women have with shoes. But as a man, I also have to admit, I totally understand men's addiction with watching sport on TV. Maybe if I was a woman, I would just think the opposite.

"I like my money where I can see it - hanging in my closet."

There's some negative sides to be a fashion addict. You never get enough money to buy a car, a house, furniture, anything more useful than clothes.

"Beauty is fleeting, but a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the park is forever."

As long as you pay the rent, as long as you pay the rent.

"Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you're pretty sexy and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with."

With Mr. Big of course!

"You and I are like that red wall. It's a good idea in theory, but somehow it doesn't quite work."

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is. No comment.

She is definitely a fashion addict.

Samantha: something would be missing without the craziest of the bunch. She is confident, strong, outspoken, and calls herself a "try-sexual" (meaning she'll try anything once). She just wants to have sex "like a man", that is without emotions or feelings and purely for sexual gratification.

She did (fucked) a lot and talked about it. Let's go through it:

"Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me."
 

I think she forgot the last bit:

"Fuck me badly three times, shame on us."

"I feel the same way about being a bridesmaid as you feel about Botox. Painful and unnecessary."

She had given up on relationships, but not on sex hopefully. She didn't feel Botox was painful and unnecessary. It keeps you young forever. Maybe not forever, but a little closer than if you don't do anything.

"Gay men understand what's important: clothes, compliments and cocks."

Gay men understand why cocks are so important. This is because they can feel it inside of them.

"I will not be judged by you or society. I will wear whatever and blow whomever I want as long as I can breathe - and kneel."

You have to kneel to perform oral sex to a man, and learn how to breath while you are doing it.

She is lucky I decided not to censure her comments, otherwise I wonder what I would have to say about her.

She is definitely a sex addict.

Charlotte: she is the opposite of Samantha; optimistic, hopelessly romantic and a believer of true love and soul mates. She is the well-behaved and conventional girl of the bunch.

She dreamt a lot and talked about it. Let's go through it:

"Maybe we can be each other's soul mates. And then we can let men be just these great, nice guys to have fun with."

She is not talking about the kind of fun a woman can have with a man in Samantha's way. It would be more about friendship, holding hands and looking in each other's eyes. No lust!

"I don't want to be the up-the-butt girl, because I mean... Men don't marry up-the-butt girl. Whoever heard of Mrs. Up-The-Butt? No, no, no. I can't. I want children and nice bedding, and I just can't handle this right now."

Up-the-butt means anal sex. She doesn't need to worry, anal sex is not required to make children.

She is definitely a hopeless romantic.

Miranda: she has cynical views on relationships and men. But instead of fooling around like Samantha, she chose abstinence. She is the smartest and the most educated of the bunch, having graduated from a law school. She finally met love in an unexpected way with a bartender she met by chance one night.

She was pessimistic and critical of men. Let's go through it:

"Sexy is what I try to get them to see me as after I win them over with my personality."

That's not how it works with men. Either you attract them with your sexiness or with your personality. I don't think there's another way.

"He has one ball, and I have a lazy ovary! In what twisted world does that create a baby? It's like the Special Olympics of conception."

Actually it comes in pair. Men have two balls, and women have two ovaries. It would be a very twisted world if men only had one ball, and women only one lazy ovary. Apparently, Miranda is more qualified to talk about law than sex.

"He doesn't even know me, the least he could do is get to know me before he rejects me."

There are men who are convinced by look and sexiness only. Miranda has a hard time to accept it, she is to brainy for that.

She is definitely too smart to understand sex.

"So, goodnight Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda. I wonder why there are no black, asian, or latin girls among you. I don't even mention lesbian. New York is full of diversity, it should reflect in a serie about people living in the Big Apple."


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