A Year Ago.

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: April 30, 2017

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Submitted: April 30, 2017

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When all that spills out of my mouth is blackness,
consumed by complete and utter madness,
I'm scared, this time I've taken it too far.

When my eyes lose their light,
and I'm this close to once again taking flight,
I start to wonder whether I'm too late.

When my heart is no longer warm,
and my mood threatens for a storm,
I'm afraid soon I'll turn everyone away from me.

When my smile is barely there,
because there's no hope for repair,
It's hard to think I'll be okay.

A year ago,
I would've turned to you,
spilled my guts out onto your shoulder,
and hugged you until my eyes were dry.

And you would've told me that there's hope.

A year ago, 
I would've said that
just talking to you,
eased my mind.
Because then,
just being with you,
made everything less heavy.

You made me laugh until my ribs ached,
offering me second chances to all my mistakes.

A year ago, 
you were my bestfriend, 
and I was okay.

You made this pain go away,
told me to just focus on today.

A year ago, 
I was happy.

As you lifted the weights off my chest,
I thought only you can ever know me best.

A year ago,
I was carefree.

I think it was because you believed the best in me.
And I loved you for it.

A year ago, 
I would've called you my sister.
we had a bond unbreakable,
that let us stick together through the thick and thin.

A year ago you were my saviour,
and I was your angel.

But life went on,
and our paths separated.

It's just funny how you said that no matter what,
I could always call.
That you'd always be there for me, 
regardless of how far you were.

But to me,
everytime my finger hovered over your name,
I'd chew my lips 
and bite my nails 
till they both bled.
There was an unsettling feeling in my stomach,
that constantly reminded me,
of what we once had.
A year ago.

But now,
in this very moment,
we're stuck in this limbo,
where I stop myself from talking,
just keeping it all to myself.

Because I'm foolish to think that what was a year ago,
has a place now.

 


© Copyright 2017 Hanah C. All rights reserved.

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