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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
Recently in my English class, we had to write about questions that we regard as "stupid" or annoying. My first thought went to this topic, but I was hesitant about my teacher reading something like this. Since I vent here and I was inspired, this was written. Maybe somebody can relate?

Submitted: April 30, 2017

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Submitted: April 30, 2017



I have OCD. No, not what some ignorant people claim they have when talking about how they prefer to have a clean room. It's not cute, desirable or fun. It affects my daily life, and frankly, it's a pain in the ass.

I believe I was nine years old when I first started noticing it. I would be compelled to check the locks on the doors, and it was always a back and forth between momentary relief and terrible uneasiness. You think that by checking that lock on the door just one more time, you'll be relieved. In reality, you can check that lock twice or even fifty times, and it still won't satisfy you.

Fast forward a few years, and here I am, still struggling to control it. I have several rituals that come up at different parts of the day. Like how my morning routine involves repeatedly checking the tag on my shirt to make sure it's not on backwards. Or how every time I walk into my room, I have to check inside my closet, count to thirty, and then tap my bedroom door thirty times as well. It almost feels like there's a rhythm to my rituals, and if I don't stick to it, then I have to start all over again.

A difficult part is having my parents watch me deal with it. My Mom is more understanding and "accepting" of it, if you will. While my Dad on the other hand will just tell me to, "stop doing that". Trust me, I would if I could. I'm completely aware that all of the reasoning behind my rituals are irrational, too. But that doesn't stop my heart from pounding and the dread that will take over if I don't complete them. 

So.. How do I get him to understand when I don't have explanations for some of the things I do myself? 



*I may be adding more to this later, but that's all I have for now* 

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