The Beard

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
In the beardsman honors system, the people are represented solely by the quality of their beards and exist in two groups: the beardsmen, who impress their ladies; and the wanna-bes, who screwed up. These are their stories. Dun-Dun!

Submitted: May 01, 2017

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Submitted: May 01, 2017

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Buzz, buzz,

Snip, snip,

Scrape, scrape,

Cut, cut,

Cutting away at the beard.

 

But just a little,

Just a trim.

She said just a little trim.

 

Buzz, buzz,

Snip, snip,

Scrape, scrape,

Cut, cut,

Salvaging what's there.

 

Just a little trim,

A nicely trimmed mustache.

She said just a trimmed mustache.

 

Buzz, buzz,

Snip, snip,

Scrape, scrape,

Cut, cut,

Oops.

 

Damn.

Too much.

What will she think?

 

Mull, mull,

Think, think,

Whine, whine,

Cry, cry,

Damn.

 

Looks weird now.

God, damn.

She’ll definitely notice.

 

Buzz, buzz, buzz,

Snip, snip, snip,

Scrape, scrape, scrape,

Cut, cut, cut,

Cutting away at the beard.

 

Until it’s all gone,

The mistake was too big,

But she loved that beard.

 

Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz,

Snip, snip, snip, snip,

Scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape,

Cut, cut, cut, cut,

I time traveled back five years.

 

It’s all gone,

The mistake was too big,

She loved that —

Oh my God, what have you done?

 

Mull, mull, mull,

Think, think, think,

Whine, whine, whine,

Cry, cry, cry,

Sob, sob, sob,

Damn.

 

Time to wait another month.

Until then, I’m

Sleeping on the couch.

 


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