Remoting At The Speed Of Light

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic
What am I going to watch now?

Submitted: May 02, 2017

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Submitted: May 02, 2017

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I've increased my quickness at channel-changing by 25.3394532%. My reflexes are honed to trip-wire efficiency. I'm a semi-lean channel changing MACHINE, thanks to The Dumper being on constantly, and every station. Which creates another problem, one I haven't solved yet. Sure, I'm Quickdraw McMike with the remote, but I change the channel to...his still-leering face. It's my worst nightmare, come to channels 1-476. I've never seen anything vaguely close to this freakazoid rodeo, the ego-king is literally everywhere. 

 

I'd watch reruns of 'Fantasy Island,' but I'm pretty sure he's figured out a way to insert himself there, too. I'm relatively certain he's advocate building a wall around the island, because that Mr. Roarke sounds foreign to him! I'm pretty sure that if I turned the set off, The Dumper would somehow still be on the blank screen. HELP!


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