Life

Life

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Genre: True Confessions

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Status: In Progress

Genre: True Confessions

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Life,

Chapter1 (v.1) - Life

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: May 02, 2017

Reads: 30

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Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: May 02, 2017

A A A

A A A

Life

 

Many people might wonder what this life is. And as much as I would like to believe that I do know what it is, I actually barely know a quarter of it. Well, to me, life is about three things: Love, time, and death. Love is what we feel towards the other, and it helps us go through life with warmth. Time is what we depend on most. Time gives us the chance to accomplish what we want to accomplish in life. And death… Death is the inevitable end. We are all going to die no matter what we do. And these three factors of life depend on one thing: moments. The moment you are born. The moment your mother first holds you in her arms. The moment you take your first steps. The moment you say your first word. The moment you enter your first day of school. The moment you fall in love. The moment you meet your best friend. The moment you graduate. The moment you cry. The moment you get your heart broken… Up until: the moment you die. These moments are what shape us. These moments are what make us who we are today. Who are we really? We are what we do, not what we say. We are the things we achieve. We are the people who love us. We are our friends, we are our family. That’s why, before we leave this world, let us make a difference, if not to the world, to the people around us. Let’s let them in, help them in their time of need, love and be loved by them… so that when we finally leave, we will be remembered by the number of hearts we reached, and the number of souls we helped.

Do you think that’s true?

To be honest, I don’t know if I even believe that. I know it seems like I’ve got life figured out, but I actually don’t. I go through it every day, discovering what it is to live, and how being alive actually feels like. But the thing about it is that life always has a way of surprising you. You can never expect what’s going to happen next. And even if you spend your whole life planning, it never turns out exactly the way you want it to. Sometimes, good things happen when you least expect them. Other times, bad things happen when you think nothing can bring you down. I think it’s all about maintaining equilibrium. One cannot be content forever, nor depressed. Life should be filled with all the memories that make us want to live for another day, and memories that when we look back at, we wish that we could forget. Have you ever wondered why tears fall from our eyes when we laugh too much? Or how sometimes the saddest people are the ones who laugh the most? Honestly, that is all I think about. Leading a content life doesn’t mean that you were never down, it means that you were able to overcome all the obstacles that stood in your way. No matter how hard you try, you will never be able to reach ultimate happiness. That’s just the way it goes. You will experience heartbreak, loss, devastation… You will even give up on your life at some point. You will wish that you were never born, or that you would die right in the moment. But no matter how screwed up life can get, something good will happen to make you change the way you see things. It will change your perspective which might in turn lead to something so big you have never seen coming. It might change your life in more ways than you know. And that’s the scary thing about the future: It might hold something extraordinary, something you never thought could be possible, or something that you always feared would happen. Either way, you have to go through life day by day, not knowing what the future might bring, not knowing how your life is going to turn out. And that is what’s called: The Mystery of Life.

The Mystery of life… What a random thing to say. Or what an exact thing to say. I don’t know. The thing is: I think that life differs from one person to another. We don’t all have the same understanding of it as we would like to assume, but I guess that’s the whole point of life. Each one of us has to go through it, interpreting it the way he/she wants. But who is right? And who is wrong? How can we know? Will we ever know? I have no idea.

The thing that bothers me the most is that we go through life taking all the things we have for granted.  We never appreciate the good times until they’re gone. We should cherish every single moment we spend laughing or smiling, or just simply happy. But we never do that. We take it all for granted. We all think that if we laughed once, we’re going to laugh, again. But is that true? Is that what we should believe? Maybe this is the last laugh I might have in a while, or even forever. This life is unpredictable. There’s nothing called “controlling life”. It’s a myth. We try to believe in it because it just makes everything easier. But should we keep on lying to ourselves in order to feel better? Life might surprise you. I might be a good or a bad one. Either way, we should cherish every single moment we spend doing things we love with the people we love. Because before we know it, these moments might be gone, and we will be left dwelling over the fact that we didn’t know how lucky we were until we lost the things that mattered the most. Should it come to that? Should we spend our entire life counting our losses? Or should we just kick back and enjoy the music while it lasts?

But what if that music is what is destroying us? What if that music is what brings us to our knees every night, and makes us beg for our souls to be taken? Should we enjoy it then, too? Or should we block our ears, and just ignore the melody? What we do defines us as human beings. How we deal with what we go through day by day is what brings out the true colors that we tried to hide for a long time.

But what if my true colors are dark? Should I just surrender to the darkness? Or should I work on compressing that part of me? Maybe if I try to hide it, it will eventually disappear. Or maybe trying to get rid of it will only make things worse. I don’t know.

The darkness can sometimes be consuming. The darkness can change the way you see yourself and everyone around you. It can kill you, slowly. Just like a cigarette. It poisons your soul. It gets rid of every ounce of happiness you have inside of you, until you’re dried out. You eventually reach a phase of no emotions whatsoever. You reach a phase were nothing affects you at all, but everything affects you too much. And in the end, no matter how hard you try to act okay, you will never actually be okay. Or will you? Can you go from extreme darkness to a ray of sunshine? Is that possible? Or is it only possible to go from extreme darkness to a bit of light? I don’t know.

Have you noticed how many times I have used the phrase, “I don’t know”? Well, if you haven’t you probably did, now. I say it a lot because I actually don’t know. I don’t know why we feel the way we feel every day. I don’t know what this life means. I might be close to the actual meaning, but I can never be one hundred percent right. Or am but I just don’t know it yet. I have no idea.

Another funny thing about this life is that you can't always know the consequences for your actions. You can't know whether you doing something, or saying something is going to affect someone or not. It might not. It might just have an impact on you. Or it might affect someone heavily. But you wouldn't know that. We have become people who don't think about anyone but themselves. We have become people who hurt others just to stay above them. All these articles about the human species evolving are shit. We might be evolving technology wise, educationally, and physically, but where is our humanity? Why isn't it evolving too? Why is it fading? Why do we always put ourselves first? Why do we always think about what benefit we get from doing something? Why can't we just do something for other people anymore? Why is it so hard to be nice to people, and feel with them nowadays? We do something or we say something that we know is going to affect other people, but we simply don't care. What I said previously about us not knowing the consequences is a lie. We know the reaction to our actions, but we choose to act stupid and pretend not to. We have become a body without a soul. We have become humans with no humanity. I don't know about you, but to me, I don't care whether we have technology that can save the whole goddamn world, or whether we can fly to the moon now. The thing I care about most is what I leave behind after I die. The thing I care about is what people are going to remember when I'm no longer with them. Imagine being the reason for someone's death. Imagine saying something that hurt someone and led them to hurting themselves. How would you feel about that? Why don't you think about that? Why do you choose to ignore that? Murder is not just literally killing another person. You can kill someone with words. You can take someone's life away because of one thing you said or did to that person. Did you forget about that? Did you become numb? Do you remember what it felt like to actually feel? I don't think you do. All you care about is yourself. Well, a few people in this world are still capable of feeling, but all others seem to do is bring them down, until someday, they decide they don’t want to feel anymore. Until someday, they become like the rest of them. What a wonderful world: humans with no humanity. I hate how we have become so focused on ourselves that we forget that there are some people out there calling for help and we can't even see that. We are blinded. We think that we can say and do whatever we want to. And when someone actually does it and commits suicide, we blame that person for not asking for help instead of blaming ourselves for not treating them better - for not hearing their cry for help. Yes, taking their own life away is their choice, but it's our responsibility, and we seem to have forgotten that...

Have you ever done something that hurt someone so badly? I have. Do I wish I could take it back? I do. Can I take it back? I can’t.

Now think of the time you were hurt so badly by someone. How did that make you feel? Are you over it now? Or does it still hurt whenever you think about it?

The truth is, nobody knows how much it hurts. Nobody knows how much pain a person feels. Nobody knows how many tears this person cries at night. Nobody knows how many people this person has lost. Nobody knows how many times this person thought about suicide. Nobody has a clue. Everybody smiles on the outside, but does anyone know what goes on inside their heads? Does anybody know the effort it takes them to smile? Does anybody know anything? Nobody does. People can laugh and smile even if they're dying inside. People can act like they're okay even if they're far from it. What really goes on inside another person's mind? Nobody knows. So why are we so ready to judge people for the acts they do? Why are we so ready to say that a person is a bitch or an ass if we don't know the whole story? Why don't we walk in their shoes and see the reason behind the way they're behaving? People aren't born that way, but the life they lead changes them. The life they lead makes them the way they are, now. So why are we so ready to judge people? Why are we so ready to jump at the opportunity of hurting someone when we know how badly it feels to be hurt? Why do we like inflicting such pain on others?

But in the end, there are still some good people out there. What is good, though? What makes one a good person? What makes someone a bad one? What is the reason behind all this categorizing? Can’t a person be both? Does it have to be one or the other?

So many questions. So many answers to find. But will I find them? Am I going to live long enough to answer all of these questions I have in my mind? Are you?


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