Internet Famous

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Flash Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
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Shelley is an ordinary housewife with dreams of going viral. When her roast dinner garners 500 likes on FriendBlast, she realises it's time to up her game. How can she increase her "reach"? Will MeView pay for her video channel? And how far is she willing to take things to become "Internet Famous"?

Submitted: May 05, 2017

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Submitted: May 03, 2017



Internet Famous



500 likes!!! Bloody hell, Paul nearly fell off his kitchen stool when I told him. 500 likes, for a roast dinner. A top notch, perfect roasties with all the trimmings, dinner if I do say so myself. I wouldn't normally post pictures of my dinner, I'm not on bloody InstaPic. But it looked so tasty once I dished it up. The Yorkies had risen to fluffy perfection, I'd gone to town with parsnips this week, and the leeks in cheese sauce! OMG! I couldn't decide between chicken or beef so, in the end, I asked Paul what he thought. He rightly pointed out that Yorkies belong with beef more than chicken-note to self, no more Yorkies with chicken.


Karen's just done that “What's your Pirate Name?” thingy. Splinters Grog-Guzzler lol. They're not far off with the boozing bit ;) I got Barnacle Grog-Guzzler which is rubbish, but then everyone got Grog-Guzzler cos that was “Surname beginning with S”. Smith is practically the commonest surname here, Sue got “O'Rum” though cos she's a Wilson.


Ack! What's her face from Ben's nursery posted that “10 bands and a lie”. I don't know why I friended her in the first place, snooty cow, her feed's just pictures of her at that posh club she goes to every weekend. Although I did see a picture with Mark in the background and he's put some weight on.


So, I figure if a picture of my dinner can get me that many likes then a bikini shot will send me sky-high. I did one of those “look at my new glasses” photos. Like anyone will be looking at my face, I don't go to the gym three times a week for the fun of it! I uploaded it thirty minutes ago, time to have a peek.


843!!! Get in!


They say if you get enough views on MeView, they pay you. How hard can that be? If I can get easy views for a roast dinner and swimsuit stuff, I just need to up my game. Oh, and open an account. Slight problem with the bikini shots cos I'm going to be at the gym less from now on.  Got to take it easy, the doc says.


2 weeks Later


Well, it's been a long wait but Paul and I can finally announce the big news today. I've opened my MeView account and I'm starting a “keeping it real” Pregnancy Channel. I'm going to chart the whole 28 weeks from now on. I asked Paul if we can Livestream the birth but he said no :( I've done the big announcement on FriendBlast and I'm just waiting for the likes to roll in. Reckon I can get to 1000 with this one, easy.


The Next Day


3 bloody likes!!! In 24 hours! I got 500 in 2 hours with my bloody dinner pic! Some of my “friends” are getting blasted from my list that's for sure. Seriously, who doesn't want to wish a pregnant lady all the best? Morons. I made a video about it for MeView, I got proper teared up, must be the hormones. That got me 100 watches which isn't bad for a new channel, but I need 1500 to get the ads featured on my feed and bring in the cash.


1 Hour Later


I don't get it, why have I only had 2 more likes? I should be stacking them up by now, I just don't get it. I mean, I know babies are hit and miss with an audience but surely more people would want to look like they care. There's nothing for it, I'm going to post a cat pic... or maybe a cat and a dog pic... do rabbits get good views? Ah, sod it, cat pic.


30 Minutes Later


50 views for a cat pic, what the hell?! It wasn't even my cat.


3 hours Later


I'm an idiot, I only had my announcement post set to “inner circle” didn't I? Only the family saw it. They shouldn't make it so easy to change your privacy settings cos one slip of a finger and my internet career is ruined! It's not like I can re-announce. I've told Paul the whole thing's off, I'm deleting FriendBlast, MeView, and bloody InstaPic. I only installed it yesterday as well. If people want to see the 12-week scan they're going to have to ask me in person, and I'll tell them to mind their own business!


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