THE BEGINNING

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic
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Submitted: May 03, 2017

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Content

Submitted: May 03, 2017

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I woke up crying, my face stretched like I’m going to scream

Fighting in my sleep, my body shaking, trying to get this man off me

The memory was the same but his face was so different...

It’s just a dream, just nightmare that no one else can see

 

The house was silent, my room dark, but I’m covered in tears and wide alert

I count to three but I can’t stop thinking

He looks like a beast

He looks possessed, his eyes alive, his face creased

 

I laid there weeping, tears running down my cheeks

But it’s so black I can’t shut my eyes, what if it all comes back to me?

 

This is the first moment that memories flooded back

The moment I realised so many years of mine were bad

I’m stuck frozen with images flickering past me, like I’m sat in class

In front of a big projector screen magnifying everything I see

 

Wall to wall it’s all I can picture, staring back with no sorrow, no stricture

Looking at the ceiling like no one would believe

I remember hearing birds singing

But as the sun rises I still can’t breathe, I can’t move I feel in a panic

I don’t want to get out of bed, I don’t want to feel, my thoughts are so manic

I want to forget that dream ever happened, but now every time I think of its it’s like a pattern

My eyes well up like nothing else matters it’s so weird

 

That is the day that completely changed my dream world it seems

Made me scared to sleep, scared these nightmares would repeat

Scared these nightmares would take over, take my strength, leave me like leftovers

I was right

After that these memories and visions haunted me

I couldn’t sleep in that bed a week from then, I kept waking more and more

In positions on the floor

In balls pushing myself as far as I could out of my sheets

I guess in my dreams I was trying to leave

 

I felt like the memories were winning, making me become weak

Making me flinch, but I didn’t know where the help I needed could be

How could I tell anyone about this, let people see inside these thoughts

I was always strong, always the one giving others support

 

I realised I’d be running for so long, moving house pretending I was wrong

I would hear whispers in my ears and jump to my protection

Thinking the unthinkable was about to happen in a second

 

Every day was the same after then

Every day I would wake and remember…. Remember the pain

I can’t write about that

I can’t push my strains and pains on nobody else

This is my problem, this is my hell

This is my problem, not one I can yell

It’s a constant battle to fight to shout out

But you have to understand that this will affect others if you tell

I might be numb and at a times thought these behaviours were normal

If you were treat right my memories could destroy y'all

 

I’ve seen people cry after I have an episode

After I let one percent out when ive lost the road

This is only the beginning

But I know it will slow,

It will get better every bit that I show

 


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