My Mental Suicide Diary

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
A story told in retrospect by a Japanese school boy...

Table of Contents

Prologue : Beginning of the End

Submitted: May 05, 2017

The first version of the prologue. Read Chapter

Prologue : Beginning of the End

Submitted: May 05, 2017

I’m here moments away from my death…swaying like a pendulum in the passing wind. As it gently comforts me, it is a constant reminder ... Read Chapter

Chapter 1 :

Submitted: May 05, 2017

Chapter 1 I wasn’t always like this. I wasn’t always so eager for the end to come so quick. There was a time I cherished everythi... Read Chapter

Chapter 1 :

Submitted: May 05, 2017

Chapter 1 I wasn’t always like this. I wasn’t always so eager for the end to come so quick. There was a time I cherished everythi... Read Chapter

Chapter 1 :

Submitted: May 05, 2017

Chapter 1 I wasn’t always like this. I wasn’t always so eager for the end to come so quick. There was a time I cherished everythi... Read Chapter

Chapter 1 :

Submitted: May 05, 2017

Chapter 1
I wasn’t always like this. I wasn’t always so eager for the end to come so quick. There was a time I cherished everything in this life. The flow of rivers, the sound of trees singing the song of the spring or the rustle of fallen leaves in the autumn. I truly marvelled at the beauty this world held, and how a thing so awe-inciting could hold such a cold and calloused evil. It all started when I was 13 years old. It was my first attempt. Constant torment from my so called peers cornered me. I had no escape from my life so I looked for an alternative. I had persuaded myself that this was the only way; there still was. During this adventure of mine, I discovered that I had a phobia of blood. I had never even seemed squeamish when it comes to almost anything, but at the sight of blood reality itself started to fade right before my eyes. Not only was I looking for the easy way out but I was too much of a coward to even do that. My first adventure ended in failure. My blood dripped but life still coursed through my veins. The scar that was left stared at me every day like a disappointed parent looks at their child and reminded me of my failure. Every morning I dragged myself from my bed just to be confronted with my failure. It looked at me agonisingly. During hot days, when the heat was simply too much, and I couldn't wear shirts that covered my shame, it would gaze upon me with its disapproving stare. When I took baths at night this memoir of my past looked especially disturbing.
Looking at it now it looks like its weeping. It cries a song of whimpers as if it regretted all the pain it caused me and the pain I caused myself because of it.
After this had happened, I was forced to move to an unfamiliar place with faces never before seen by me. It was Jintsu secondary. Things began to get a little better. At least I thought they did.

“Hi, my name Bunkai Atama, I came from here from Eunoia School in… I hope we get on and become friends”.
As the words trickled from my mouth I noticed everyone was listening intently and hanging on my every word. I didn't sense an ounce of animosity from anyone. After I finished introducing myself the teacher said,
“Welcome to Jintsu secondary! My name is Mr Shien and this is your homeroom classroom where you will have majority of your classes…Umm let’s see, there Atama go sit in that chair over there.” Pointing to the chair at the back of the class.
The sun beat down on the school and nature blossomed outside. This whole place exuded youth and peace. Everyone seemed so kind. The room brimmed with people. But there was my seat, isolated and alone in the corner, at the back of the classroom with seats only in front of me and a window to the left.
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