Please Stay!

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
May the Galaxies within you clasp your shattering fragments!

Submitted: May 07, 2017

A A A | A A A

Submitted: May 07, 2017




Please Stay!

There are things that change a person and there are things that a person needs to change. He changed me and I needed to change that.

You know I’m just an ordinary person, in love, with someone who is in love with me. But love? Love is an overrated word. It’s never quite enough. You barely recognize yourself when you’re in love. You find God, if you truly love. You find solace in the most unexpected moments, at the most unexpected times. I always knew that Love without complications is like a tornado without havoc, but I still fell in love, fell really hard. Hard enough to stand back on my feet, and realize my own worth.

But, losing myself was worth the extract. The juice was worth the squeeze. Typically falling in love, during the high school years and ending up marrying that person in a mainstream, unexciting way was obviously not my idea of staying in love. May be that’s why this thing called “Complications” happened to our love story and distance pulled us apart, or may be destiny did. But deep inside, both of us stood the test of the time, ‘the miserable time’; and managed to stay in love, a kind of love that relieves and makes us believe! Believe that life is worth living for someone, in someone’s thoughts and awake in someone’s’ dreams!

Though Adrian left Albany and never turned back, he mailed me and made sure I was doing fine. But we both knew we weren’t so he finally returned back, to Albany. He hadn’t tried to contact and confess anything in all these years, besides mailing me a few times, say twice in a year. When he returned, after almost five years, Adrian almost begged me to give in, but I didn’t. I talked to him, replied him, but also taunted and put him down, making him realize what does it feels to hurt someone with your words which feel like knives in the heart. I never wanted him to feel like that, of course, I’d never wished that for an enemy even; but I wanted to give it all some time and so, did I.

He was sorry. He almost had proven it but I still couldn’t take the risks. He had hurt enough of me. But after giving it all a few months, when we knew it was the right time, we planned to meet up, unaware of some unplanned moments which awaited us. It was particularly difficult for both of us to revamp our meeting because we hadn’t seen each another in some fine 5 years, so it was bizarre how things couldn’t reconcile like they used to do.

After he parked his car at the end of the street, he came up and with a smile, began to speak.

“Hey”, Adrian said.

But a mainstream “Hey” couldn’t really rectify the nervousness, so he articulated another prevailing sentence;

“Am I late or you are before the time?”

“I guess, I am earlier.” I barely stood and shook hand with him.

The environment wasn’t typically a picturesque river sided park or a flower garden, but another lane which led to my house that was a few miles away. It was a date or it wasn’t; I don’t know about that because number one, we weren’t out, eating or walking together and number two, we weren’t in a relationship.

So we were just talking. About stuff. About random, inconsequential, absolutely monotonous stuff!

We didn’t really care to hug or to excitedly stare at each other, because we knew it was something we weren’t supposed to do, so we just settled down on a bench at the end of the street, behind which there was a huge wall of someone’s house, embellished with unreservedly radiant green leaves.

It wasn’t a pleasant day and the dry air added in to the monotonous vicinity.

“So?” He took a deep breath and settled right beside my left side, with an adequate distance for a person in between us.

“So, how’re you?” I asked swiftly.

“Yea… I’m good, what about you? You seem pretty different.”

He wasn’t sure what he was saying, but he sure did. And when he was talking, I couldn’t stop myself from staring at his face and DAMN, that jawline and the stretched chin guarded by the fiery black eyes and black spiked hair.  

“Of course I do, it’s been four years and…”

I wasn’t either sure about what I was replying, but I was sure I was being candor and honest.

“Oh God Anna, don’t tell me you counted how long it’s been since we met last time.” He was rattled when I emphasized upon the years in which we hadn’t seen each other.

“Oh, well, what if I did count? We met each other six days less-five years ago, at a coffee bar near the High School, where we didn’t really had coffee, but a real disturbing conversation after which you left, for like, forever, until today.” This obviously summed up the things that were shattering inside me.

“Anna, I remember… I do, I just don’t want to recall.” Adrian said with an unsatisfied grin on his face that highlighted his prepossessing dimple, on his left cheek.

There was a really unusual thing I noticed that day, though our conversation had finally began, I couldn’t really ‘look at him’, straight into his eyes and neither did he. So, we just sat, facing the wall in front of us, also adorned by pretty light greenish-leaves, out of which emerged some buds that were to become pretty flowers in time.

I had hardly recovered from staring at his dimple, that a dog appeared from nowhere apparently and sort of distracted the very genuinely serious scenario.

“Hey, watch out, don’t react or move swiftly!” Adrian shouted as if he was scared of it.

“It’s just a dog, relax.” I seemed to calm the conversation.

“So, you aren’t afraid of dogs?” He asked.

“I am not afraid of anything, anymore.”

May be when I said anything, I didn’t add my fear of not being with him or of losing him; maybe that’s my only fear.

“So, still same phone?” He asked while gazing at my hands while I texted Mary.

“Oh, yea… Basically, I’m not very fond of changes, so this old little piece of communication do helps a lot.”

“Ahan, but you must get one new, I mean a nice decent expensive phone adds in to our personality, doesn’t it?”

I know I was supposed to be agreeing to everything he says, to keep the conversation going, but ‘I like my choices’.

“Nah, it doesn’t, at all! You fetch your personality straight out of the hard work and dedication and endless efforts you’ve put into something and the way how you talk, how you treat people around you, how you carry your own flaws and how you live life as ‘you’ and no one else- this is what adds into our personality, apparently.”

“Well, you said it.” He terminated the conversation with the type of a smile that always ends me up wanting him more and more.

“By the way, sorry I just saw your scars- right there on your wrists while you were texting.”

Suddenly, this very sentence raised my heartbeat and I helped myself to hide my scars, in a spur of a moment, and I definitely… failed!

“You don’t have to see em’ they’re almost gone, they’re healed, they almost are.” He could judge the despondency in my tone while I spoke so he tried to side track the conversation.

“So, how’s college treating you?” Adrian tilted himself a bit towards his right side, which was my left side, so now we could somehow see each other.

“It’s pretentious, in a nutshell.” I felt at ease because now I could see him.

“Oh that it must be. So, where’s the draft, what is the plan?”

“You mean future plans?” I asked.

“Yes, I mean future plans and your goals!”

Now, the way how we were talking reminded me of High School.

“Right now, I’ve just given rein to this whole medical thing, I don’t know what I would end up doing and being, but I have prodigious plans.”

“And what about your goals?” He interestingly asked.

“Right away, I just want to commit myself utterly towards finding my own self, then I’ll focus of doing other great things which I planned years ago.”

“Things like.” Adrian asked as if he was there to talk about me and only me.

“Things like getting myself certified for working on psychological aspects of human brain and working for the people who’re mentally damaged, left unhealed and undiagnosed.”

“Do you think you’re good at it?”

“May be.” I replied.

“So, I guess you must know what’s pondering inside my head, right away.”

“I guess I still don’t have a degree for that.”

But you know what, I sort of knew what he was thinking or let’s say, I knew what he made it sound like; but I couldn’t say it out loud, obviously I couldn’t. So, instead of saying anything else, I started staring at the road beneath us, for no apparent reason other than avoiding eye contact with him.

 I knew what he was thinking when he finally said: “I’m thinking of kissing you, right here, right now.” He was looking into my eyes and I wondered why those words echoed back continuously through my mind into my heart, although an extreme silence had occupied between us, shaking my body, forcing me to think just about what he said.

“Right here isn’t the appropriate thing, it’s a road.” I tried to divert the intensity of the moment into humor. I smiled.

He smiled back and grabbed a fancy, black-pearled necklace out of his pocket, wrapped in an ample decent gift box and offered it to me.

For a second or so, I didn’t want to hold the box, but in the spur of the moment, quite anxiously, I grabbed the box and let it open. It is a fine, ornate piece of art. It really is.

Indecisively, I put it aside, in the space between us and thanked him. But for him, may be this wasn’t enough. So, he moved closer, picking up the box, grabbing the necklace out of it, and said;

“Do you mind if I….”

He stopped saying anymore and my heart skipped beats. An earnest silence preoccupied and I could hear our hearts raising and falling rapidly against our chests, and that was a feeling I didn’t ever have before and that was absolutely worth the wait.

I turned around, my mouth still zipped, and he came further close so as to reach my shoulders. My long, black hair, were left open and curled; so he reached for my hair from his left hand towards my right shoulder and streamed them towards the either side. I couldn’t really feel his hands, but when he had fixed my hair, his hands gently collided with my neck and I could hear his breaths right in my ears while he helped me wear the necklace by tying it through its lock. I couldn’t feel myself in that moment and I felt as if I’m not supported by the gravity anymore; but flying, somewhere among the night skies adorned by an immense collection of stars.

Suddenly, after he was done locking up the necklace, I released myself and moved a bit away as to simplify the complexity of the situation.

After a moment or so, as always, I got super excited as I saw a person selling balloons and suddenly uttered quite loudly;

“Adrian, BALLOONS!” I didn’t realize I was still sitting behind a wall of someone’s house, on a street.

“Do you want them?” Adrian asked.

“Is that even a question? Go get me.” Okay, it was a bit too childish.

He stood up and asked; “Okay, so which color I’m getting you?”

“Every color, I want all the balloons.”

So I realized that my craze for my favorite things never really fade away, irrespective of whomever I am with, wherever; that’s particularly ‘me’.

When he had almost made his way towards the person who was selling balloons, I called him back and told I had to leave with Mary. He came back and sat along. We knew we hadn’t really talked about anything significant, but somehow, both of us treasured those ten to fifteen minutes, which were partly accompanied by the chirping of birds and the sound of the dew drops flickering around the leaves from the wall behind us.

I also had something to give. So just before leaving I opened my bag and grabbed a bracelet I had got for him from somewhere I went like seven months ago. Initially he refused to accept it, but then he stood one his one leg saying,

“You would have to help me wear this as I did help you wear this necklace.”

That was a childish demand. Of course anyone of us cannot help ourselves to wear a necklace by locking it without any help, but a bracelet can do it alone, without help.

He directed his arm towards me and I unwrapped the bracelet and without touching his wrist intentionally, tried to tie the lock, but somehow he didn’t want me to make it possible before a several failed tries. He didn’t want me to lock it up without touching his hands and wrists intentionally, but I didn’t seem to do it anyway, so he started touching my hands, while I still attempted to lock the bracelet’s hook. Goosebumps as well as butterflies? Though these are the very repetitive ‘true love clichés’ , but I felt pleasant, upon that touch, that induced me to want him more and more, all for myself, but I withstood the feel as soon as my phone rang.

It was Mary, and she told me to reach a nearby supermarket in ten minutes as we had planned to shop together. But for some reason, I didn’t want to leave.

“So, I guess I’ll see you!” I said as I grabbed my bag and headed towards my house.

“When?” He asked anxiously.

“I don’t know about that but I hope, soon.” I didn’t want to say ‘goodbye’ so to avoid that, I began moving, slowly!

He stood quiet behind me and suddenly I heard his steps, making way towards mine.

“So, I guess we’ll no more have to pretend that we don’t love each other anymore?” He initially walked slower, but instantly, walked swiftly and no more gently and held my right hand, standing still behind me, whispering in my right ear, resting his head partly on my right shoulder and then grabbing my waist.

I tilted back, and stared in his eyes for a couple of seconds.

“I never pretend to not being in love with you Adrian, I can never do that; I was just pretending to not to be in a relationship with you and I guess, you’ve make it up for all your mistakes today. And I’m so glad to have finally see you after all these years.”

My words silenced him and his face shimmered so as to make him blush.

He didn’t really say anything in response, but tilted his head down towards my face and gently kissed my eye and then my left cheek and finally forehead.

“I love you so much.” He finally ended saying this and I left.

After some three or four steps, I turned back and glanced at his ever-so-loving face, repressing a gentle glee on my face. He smiled back and damn, that smile! I came back and hugged him. I don’t know what I was really thinking when I did that, but may be that was something I was yearning for years, him, and his love!

For almost 30 seconds, I felt him as close as never before and somehow, I felt so protected and relieved that I didn’t want to let go off his strong arms from my waist and his head from my shoulder.

If this is love, then I’m eating and drinking it! If this is love, then I’m burning and consuming through it. If this is love, then I’m living and dying with it!

There are things that change a person and there are things that a person needs to change. He changed me and I needed to change that. He had changed me, when for all those years he left me waiting for him and I had become someone who I never was. So, to have met him after ages, made me feel better and now, I changed things, for the better.

So you see, no matter how hurt you were or you are, you always end up forgiving people you love. You always end up embracing their existence, because they are the reason of your existence. The stars within you begin to glimmer when you see right into your lover’s eyes. Never dim the glow within you, never ever let the galaxies within you distort and dwindle.


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