Parenthood: Cry Standing

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
One theory of parenting ...

Submitted: May 08, 2017

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From Blog: http://kibbsheartindia.blogspot.de/

 

Friday, 4 April 2014

 

 

 

Parenthood: Cry Standing

 

 

 

"And I swear on everything, when I leave this Earth, it’s going to be on both feet. Never knees in the dirt."

 

- Lil Wayne

 

 

In life, there are three emotions that I avoid feeling.

 

The first is anger. One friend defined it as "temporary insanity". I like to be in total control of myself and I've had to discipline myself to either walk away from frustrating situations, and when I'm unable to walk away, I remain silent.

 

Secondly, I avoid guilt. It's pointless. I live life unapologetically because I live intentionally. I don't feel guilty for making mistakes because failures are an opportunity to learn. At times, I may feel ashamed for violating my own standards (i.e. responding rudely on a stressful day) but I find it easy to forgive myself and do better next time.

 

Lastly, there's pity. Allow me to be completely honest here; Pity is a wasteful emotion. No one benefits. At least with guilt you have the opportunity to re-evaluate the situation and do better next time. With pity you simply waste the time needed to improve the situation.

 

Let me be clear, I am empathetic. I will sympathize WITH you, but I will not feel sorry FOR you. Though I believe in always investing positive emotions, I have no funds to offer to charities seeking pity.

 

Let me tell you a quick story...

 

I bring my 1st standard (grade) class outdoors every day. Thanks to John Dewey's " The School and Society", which is a must read for anyone interested in education, I created educational games that involve running, adding, subtracting and multiplying shapes, and putting together letters to form words. These games are played on the cement courtyard. At times, the children fall down.

 

The first thing I do when I run to a fallen child is stand him/her up. There's no shame in crying but just make sure you cry on your feet. After they've fallen, I do not sink to their level, comfort them, and allow them to wallow in their misfortune.

 

I stand them up. Cry standing. I am compassionate, but I make sure students take the first step - Standing. Standing shows me they are not seeking pity, rather, looking for a solution to the problem. The solution in this case is a smile, sometimes I spin them around, high fives work miracles, and they also like to sit in the teachers chair. I think they believe it to be a throne. I just see it as a big, plastic chair.

 

But I digress...

 

Cry standing. I want every child to be safe at school, but if school is a microcosm of society, we must allow them to fall. And stand on their own whenever they're able to. I provide support but I am not a crutch.

 

There's no way to get around it, you will get hurt in life. But at least stand after you've fallen. I once heard a quote that stated, "I'm not so concerned that you fall, but that you rise". Cry standing.

 

Though I am not a parent, I certainly feel like one after teaching this year. I taught large classes, various age groups, and have spent the whole day around children. Literally. The. Entire. Day. After school, I tutored at the orphanage. I've just turned 23 years old and I'm the father of 25 children. Maury couldn't write a better script than this.

 

In the future, when I have my little Jayalakshmi’s and Kibbsparticus' - Wait, I think "Kibbsparticus" plural is "Kibbspartici" - I will teach them the lessons I've taught my children here; Grow in courage, passion, and discipline every day, have a love for learning, live authentically, and cry standing. Always cry standing.

 

 

- End .

 

 

From:

 

"Sober Reality: Cry Standing"

 

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