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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: May 10, 2017

A A A | A A A

Submitted: May 10, 2017



This is a story
about a bloke called Billy 
His girlfriend found him cheating 
So She cut off his willy

He went to the hospital 
with Willy in hand 
People sat and stared 
As it wobbled  there in his hand

The nurse said,
sit down 
You look kinda  pale 
Please take a chair 
Come on
your moving like a snail
plus your leaving a bloody slug like trail

She helps him down into a wheel chair 
rolls him into a cubicle 
while people sat and stared 

The doc  says, 
let’s see what we can do
let’s see if we can stitch it on 
make it straight and true 
cause being bent will never do 

He takes the willy from Billy’s hand
ACHOO! He sneezes 
The willy leaves his hand 
Poor old Billy’s willy 
Rolls around on the floor
It rolls out the cubicle 
And out of the door 
Where a dog picks it up
Thinking it to be his lunch 
Poor old Billy’s heart skipped 
A beat 
When he heard his willy go “crunch”

The doc gave chase 
The dog was just too fast
It spat out Billy’s willy 
Just as a car did pass 

The wind did stir and
Picked up his willy 
 and through the air

Billy just and watched 
He didn’t think it fair 

It landed in the treetops 
Amongst some hazel nuts
Where a squirrel
he was gathering 
his daily supply of nuts
saw old Billy’s willy 
and gave it a touch
put in his mouth 
along with some
hazel nuts

The squirrel  slipped 
the willy falls from his mouth
it falls down from the trees 
scares a poor old lady and brings her 
crashing to her knees 

She picks it up and  throws it over the hedge 
where it lands in a gardeners prize flower bed 
he stabs it with his garden fork

he looks towards the end  
a sausage was his first thought 


He’s shocked to say the least

when he  realises what it is 
takes it to the dustbin 
and removes the dustbin lid 

He Starts to pries it off
the end of his fork
Billy’s just in time 
Or so he thought 

He asks for it back 
Telling the gardener 
I need my willy back 
I don’t want to be flat
Please don’t throw it in the bin 
I want my
bobby’s helmet back  

The gardener smiles 
Says, don’t you feel silly? 
How the hell did you even manage to 
lose your willy?

Billy sighs 
It was down to my wife 
She got mad and 
cut it off with a carving knife

Here you go son 
you can have it back
please take more care 
of your little bobbies hat 
he says handing it him back 

Billy holds it in his hand 
He sees the holes along it’s sides 
And tries not to cry 
Tries to stop the tears rolling down 
From his eyes 

He takes it to the hospital 
The doc sows it back on 
But when he gets an hard on 
His willy plays a song 
Because it whistles from the holes 
Pitted along his dong

And when he sleeps at night 
When his willy stands up right 
You can hear willy's song being 
Played all through the night

His wife knows when he’s 
She listens for that song
And when she catches 
Up with him 
She will right the wrong 
Take a knife once more 
And silence his willy’s song  

© Copyright 2019 J A OVERTON. All rights reserved.

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