Shut Thi Clack

Reads: 56  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 1

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
another sequel to Grimstone Low.

Submitted: May 13, 2017

A A A | A A A

Submitted: May 13, 2017

A A A

A A A


 

 

Shut Thi’ Clack

 

Trish had been trying for years

To have kids with her husband, The Dope

But try as they might, they just couldn’t get it right

And she’d totally given up hope

 

Babysitting just isn’t the same

Though she loved all her nephews and nieces

But she felt so alone without one of her own

And her heart had been shredded to pieces

 

But miracles are borne out of patience

And after a night of good lovin’

The Dope did his deed, and he planted his seed

And put her a bun in the oven

 

She was sat in the working mens club

Where secrets don’t mix well with booze

So she took one last drag, of her tipped Woodbine fag

And that’s when she blurted her news.

 

They said “Shut thi’ clack, t’bingo’s on”

“Keep it to thisen.”

“gi’ it a minute until ‘turn starts”

“I’m sure it can wait until then”

 

Tommy’d done three tours of duty

But now he was back home for good

The army was great, and he’d made lots of mates

But there’s nowt like your own neighbourhood

 

So he met up with all his old homies

And set out to the club for the night

With medals on chest, to prove he’s the best

He had earned those bold bragging rights

 

So into the club he bounded

The tales he had to tell

The places he’d been, and the sights that he’d seen

The stories he’d brought back from hell

 

They said “Shut thi’ clack, t’bingo’s on”

“Keep it to thisen.”

“gi’ it a minute until ‘turn starts”

“I’m sure it can wait until then”

 

 

Dorothy’s son went to Cambridge

A mothers pride is more than just bread

She was fitting to burst with news of his first

So leaned over the table and said

 

 

I just need to tell you ‘bout Rupert

He must get his brains from my side

He’s done ever so well, and I just need to tell

Of the way that he fills me with pride

 

They said “Shut thi’ clack, t’bingo’s on”

“Keep it to thisen.”

“gi’ it a minute until ‘turn starts”

“I’m sure it can wait until then”

 

Casper Slugshaw was in the back room

With a cig that he’d nicked from his dad

There’s nothing on par with a Capstan full tar

When you’re only a six year old lad

 

Now we all know the dangers of matches

How children and fags shouldn’t mix

But with parenting skills, at virtually nil

His mum and dad were a right pair of pricks

 

When the fire began to take hold

It was one that he couldn’t put out

So he raised the alarm, cos he’d done enough harm

So he ran to the bar with a shout

 

 

They said “Shut thi’ clack, t’bingo’s on”

“Keep it to thisen.”

“gi’ it a minute until ‘turn starts”

“I’m sure it can wait until then”

 

 

It was never rebuilt since the fire

Cos they lacked the wherewithal

There’s a new plot of land where the club used to stand

And they moved into the old village hall

 

Of course they are still playing bingo

But ever since that day

The rules are more lax, people open there clacks

And they’re allowed to have their say

 

 


© Copyright 2017 K J Walker. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

Comments

avatar

Author
Reply