Dunk Tank

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a story about two friends, revenge, a clown, and a dunk tank.

Submitted: May 13, 2017

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Submitted: May 13, 2017



Dunk Tank


It was a breezy afternoon at the Duval County Fair. My friends Ritchie Abernathy, dressed in his blue sleeveless shirt and bellbottom jeans, and Charlie Carrano, as always sporting his New York Mets Eric Church jersey with camouflage shorts and brown backpack, were waiting outside the entrance to the annual Fair. What were they waiting for? More friends to arrive? Not likely on account most everyone hated these two. No, the answer was simple: the admission to get into the fair was five dollars, but these two lifelong pals were waiting outside to buy scaled tickets for four dollars each.

Weeks prior they had been talking online with a guy who sells discounted fair tickets all around the United States. Ritchie and Charlie were tired of waiting, but sure enough thirty minutes after their scheduled meet time, a pink van with the words “Fair Tickets” written in rust on the side of it pulled up to the Duval County Fair entrance way. The two youngsters timidly approached the van. The driver/seller rolled down his window and apologized to the boys for being late offering them an even further discount of three dollars a ticket, the buyers were ecstatic. The ticket taker, a nice old lady named Janice happily smiled and welcomed them into the fair, without even noticing the tickets were from three years ago.

Ritchie and Charlie made their way into the fair but bypassed all of the usual things kids like at a county fair. There was fresh cotton candy being made, carnival games that were rigged to steal kids’ allowance money, and even a petting zoo with one sad looking donkey in it. Those boys were on a mission and would not be stopped under any circumstances.

Their mission was one of revenge that began at Charlie’s tenth birthday party a few years ago. His parents wanted to make it an extra special birthday, so they invited all of the other kids in school, but only his reliable friend Ritchie showed up. His parents went as far as to hire a clown to entertain the children. The two boys were finishing the birthday cake outside when Charlie’s parents told both of the children to go inside the house that there was a special surprise for them. They made their way into the house from the rear glass sliding door, upon entering the living room, the closet door quickly swung open and out jumped HaHa the Clown. Charlie was terrified, in fact so much so that he pee-peed his trousers. Ritchie immediately grabbed his best friend in a side hug and shielded his face from seeing his new enemy HaHa the Clown.

It took about three years for the two friends to use the power of the internet to locate HaHa the Clown to exact their revenge. They found out he would be performing in the prestigious Dunk Tank at the Duval County Fair. Their plan was simple: get revenge on HaHa the Clown at all costs and show no mercy.

Ritchie and Charlie continued on their way to the dunk tank, which was located at the rear of the fair, since it was the featured attraction this year as it had been for many years before. It was no surprise to the boys when they saw a line of around fifteen people waiting to get their chance to hit the target and drop HaHa the Clown into the water below. Of course to drum up business HaHa would hurl family friendly insults at people to get them to pay money to throw baseballs at the target. One middle-aged lady was furious when HaHa said, “Your mother loves French Toast.” She immediately gave twenty dollars to get twenty tries to hit the target; on account of her mother was not French, but American. Unfortunately she missed with all twenty attempts, but that did not stop the line of people who were eager to try to dunk the insulting clown.

At this point Ritchie had entered the line as person after person kept missing the target, thus leaving HaHa the Clown high and dry. Ritchie was certain the guy in front of him was going to soak the clown after he was insulted by being told, “Your dad makes pancakes and they are terrible!” What HaHa could not have known was the gentleman’s father owned a very popular breakfast place that only serves pancakes. As the man in front of Ritchie was about to make his three attempts to hit the target, he signaled for his friend Charlie to get started with his part of the revenge plan.

Charlie knelt down by the side of the dunk tank and began unzipping his backpack. Out came a device that looked similar to a computer motherboard which he immediately plugged the device into the power outlet next to the famous Dunk Tank of Duval County. He then taped two wires onto the glass of the dunk tank. He knew that HaHa the Clown had to pay for embarrassing him all those years ago. The machine began to work immediately and without hesitation boiling the water to an extra hot four hundred degrees as the third ball from the man in front of Ritchie misses just to the left of the target.

As Ritchie pays his money and picks up three baseballs to throw at the target HaHa discovers what is going on. Ritchie quickly pitches the baseballs at the target as HaHa presses the panic button inside of the dunk tank. Ritchie as all others before him misses the target with all three baseballs as the police arrive and arrest both boys and take away the dunk tank heating device.

The two officers are so mad they take the boys straight to the County Judge since the crime occurred at the County Fair. The best friends were lead straight into the courtroom where they sheepishly stood in front of an old judge who was minutes away from retiring. He made eye contact with both boys and shook his head before giving his ruling, “What were you two thinking? Someone could have gotten seriously hurt, even if it was just a clown.” He paused for a moment before giving out his sentences, “For the crime of trying to boil a clown I hereby sentence both of you to seventeen months probation from going to any County Fairs. Just be glad you didn’t try to boil a goose, then the two of you would be facing serious, serious jail time.”

The boys were relieved their sentences were not too harsh, and decided to let bygones be bygones, that letting HaHa the Clown off their path of revenge was the right thing to do.


The moral of this story is: if you seek revenge then dig two graves, in this case three, or just get better aim.

© Copyright 2019 Brian A Garber. All rights reserved.

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