Substandard Service

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic
The restaurant of the asses--err--masses!

Submitted: May 19, 2017

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Submitted: May 19, 2017




"I demand to see the manager!"


"Sir, calm down!"


"Like hell I will, look at this plate of shit!"


"Sir, you ordered the special, and that's exactly what you got."


"But there's nothing here except President Dump, Dump everything, constantly!"


"Sir, please lower your voice."




"Sir, I'm going to call security and have you forcibly removed."


"Oh, I mean you can try, like those Turkish thugs at the embassy in Washington, D. C., that hardly received a mention on cable news, because they we're too busy covering the clown Dump's latest idiot impersonation?"


"Oh, now the truth comes out, it's not the wrong order, it's the fare you don't care for."


"I had heard that this restaurant has gone way downhill, and I was hoping I'd heard wrong, but no, you've gone downhill much further than I'd hoped. I think I'll take my business elsewhere!"


"You may want to stock up on seeds and beef jerky, then, because if you're expecting different at another restaurant, we're all serving the same thing, sir."


"Son of a bitch!"


"Look, asshole, you're upsetting the sheep-like patrons who are fine with shoveling Dump-Shit into their fricking pie holes--now, get out!"


"I'm going, but all of you, you're getting the nutritional equivalent of a Mars bar here--when are you going to stand up and demand more nutrition?"


"Look pal, why don't you just leave and let us enjoy out shit-steak in piece?" 


The End

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