Where are you now?

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
~This is my first piece and I'm a fairly new writer so bear with me!~

Submitted: May 20, 2017

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Submitted: May 20, 2017

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I was always here for you. I was right by your side for when things went wrong and you just needed somebody to keep you up on your feet. I had always been the one helping you, giving my all just so you could feel wanted. I often laid awake at night, thinking of the many hours out of my life I had taken talking you out of doing something stupid while I only have my mind to convince myself there was something, anything at all, worth living for. I really did love you, there's no doubt about it, I'm just not sure that the feeling is was mutual.

You didn't know most of me. I didn't open up that easily. However, you did know I was in trouble that night.

You knew I wasn't the same at school. My eyes were glued to my feet for the entirety of class. The blank and emotionless look on my face was showing nothing but if you had just taken a second to look into my eyes, you could have seen the ocean of pain filling my soul. I didn't care about how I looked that day. The oversized black hoodie covered up the scars that forever cover my wrists. You knew that I was dying, but all you did was tell me to call you if I needed anything.

later that night when I called you, you didn't pick up despite your earlier promise to always be on the other side of the phone. Where are you now?

People imagine that when you commit suicide you are at your weakest, breaking down into tears. The truth is, when you are finally letting go you feel as light as a feather and at your strongest.

I took my pocket knife, the one that my dad gave me when I turned 10, and headed out into the nearby river. The water flowed softly and calmly, beckoning me into its gentle arms. The cold water pierced my skin as I laid down and floated.

When I slit my wrists and let them bleed out, my last thought was of you.

Where are you now?


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