Kind Of Taboo

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: May 21, 2017

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Submitted: May 21, 2017

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Kind of Taboo.

 

When you think of Domestic Violence the chances are you think of wife or partner abuse, either physical, mental or a mix of both. Or maybe you think to Child Abuse, where the youngsters in the family are victims to either one or both of their parents, or of another sibling. One thing I bet you do not think of is abuse of parents by children. Nobody likes to talk about it, least of all the abused.

 

With the more common domestic violence there is a choice; not an easy one, but it is there none-the-less. Children that are abused will be removed to a safer environment once the facts have been reported, at least for a while until the problems have been resolved. Parents who are abused by their children are silent, shamed and fearing ridicule. Nobody wants to know.

 

How many of you are thinking; ‘Well, they must have been rubbish parents to be in that position’, or ‘They should just toughen up and kick them out’ (when they are old enough of course)? It is responses like this that lead it to be a silent, hidden type of abuse which is probably much more common than you think.

 

Often there are other hidden factors that make escape from it impossible. There may be mental health issues which make the now adult children remain in their family home. Conditions like Autism can make it so they simply cannot manage to live by themselves, while at the same time make it more likely for the ‘children’ to become abusive. Most two year-olds throw tantrums, some six year-olds do too. Consider dealing with one thrown by a twenty-one year old; one that is much bigger than yourself, and cannot put themselves in your position and see what they are doing. They have no empathy with others.

 

All the vocabulary is there in high functioning Autism. Every single insult you can possibly imagine is hurled in the parent’s direction, not once, but time and time again. Threats are common-place although actual physical violence is rare. Imagine listening to your own child tell you time and time again that they wish they were dead. That it is your fault they exist at all.

 

And there we have it. The one sentence that you cannot deny is true. Without the parents the child would not exist. So add guilt to shame and fear and you may just slightly understand. No matter what they do, what they say, you cannot throw them out of the family home because you know they would not survive and that it is ALL YOUR FAULT. There is nowhere that they can go, so it is your responsibility to put up with it.

 

When you see news articles about parents being killed by their own children, please bear in mind that there is a good chance that a lot of abuse has already been lived through; that part of them had already died.

 

But shush, it is not something we must ever, ever talk about!


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