Thinking of Nothing

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
The storm is not always loud boastful and rough sometimes it can be just as quiet and calm until it hits you then its too late.

Submitted: May 22, 2017

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Submitted: May 22, 2017

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I've been thinking alot, a lot about nothing. Thinking alot about not thinking; not feeling, not seeing, not breathing, not being, not thinking, just NOT! I've been thinking about what it'll be like not to be, to be nomore, all presence of me gone. I thought of what it'll feel like not to feel, guess pretty ok because there would be no feeling if I couldn't feel. No more pain, no more hurt, this broken heart would beat no more. I've been thinking alot of nothing or is it more than that. People seem to be content with that answer when they feel obligated to ask "what are you thinking", I simply say "nothing" and they're ok with that. I turn the pills over in hand, pop two. I think of the pain no more, I do not want to end my life but the pain must go. Pop two that makes four I think of my broken heart, 6 the room is spinning or maybe I'm falling where is the rum my throat is dry. 8, I think of not having to suffer, pop pop 10 12 I think hm I am unclear of what I think the room is fading and I think of nothing, I feel nothing but my broken heart it still beats. Is this what it feels like not to be? not to think?, feel? or live? Flash I see my mother she's in so much pain, flash flash my brothers and sisters are torn they blame themselves, I wish they wouldn't. I try to stand but I can not control my body. Flash my niceces and nephews they ask were is Tt, I can not answer no one does just cry. Flash the nephew I have yet to meet is here I missed his birth. Flash flash. Wait no more, these aren't just thoughts, my life isn't nothing. My eyes are tired but I do not want to sleep, I try to think but I can not think straight my thoughts are unclear. Finally for the first time in forever I think of nothing.


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