Tiresome

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
I just wanted you to know.

Submitted: May 22, 2017

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Submitted: May 22, 2017

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At times I run deep into the forest where no man would ever think to go. Those with powers much like mine sit upon their thrones along side me. They ask me frequently, "what is troubling you, Kroatel?" I can't go any longer pretending to be up in high spirits when my conscience is beaten, dragged, and lied to everyday. I continuously think of my reflection in the waterfall I pass on days I find myself lost, and I remember the men and women I stood up for put me through trials and tribulations with the insults about anything I set my mind on. In that place deep in the forest I look straight ahead to the ones that guide me onto better paths. They see the hurt in my eyes this time as I cannot bring myself to greet them with a smile. I yell to the sky that my problems disappear, but the terror in my voice only echoes for more to hear. Many on the outside look, but do not acknowledge me nor they want to help. Great ones along side of me weep at my drowsiness from the effort I put towards setting obstacles around me in the right direction. I don't believe this is the home left for me I say some days where I view my lifestyle from a God's point of view seeing the devastation that has been set for me. Evil talks about me at the start of every day, and brings me in closer with their smiles hiding their true cold hearts. Television almost claimed my living soul as I became infused with the negativity which I displayed on those I should've loved first with the royalty they deserve. At times I lay sick from the clotted blood running wild from my nose, while my head mostly feels hollow, and hands constantly shake. The hot and cold spells sometimes make me want to give up the fight for not only my chance to live, but freedom for all, dreams comes true, and passion for what life offers us all.

Deep in that which is known as my peaceful zone. Praying to a powerful energy that works in my favor every time makes me seem invincible to the weak. An ultralight beam is what Kanye called it even though the God dream stanza was true. The people called him a demon for such truths, yet I could give more detail about the wonderful place mentioned. I say I've had enough of the crap I've been dealt. Lord Moon answers my questions timely while restoring my energy which makes me a God. My manifestations are all being delivered, but people on the outside looking in call it evil because I choose to look out only for those that I feel deserve a drink from the fountain I built with my own hands. There are those that are lazy however, they seek a friend in me for what they call riches. My wealth lies within my soul, which defines who I truely am. Woman after woman took all of my kindness for weakness. The time past can't be retrieved from those heartless individuals, but I noticed something each friend, lover, and supposed family member have in common such heartless animals are they. Compared to the behaviors of dogs as I study their every move thus bringing them to a predictable state of mind where I seperate myself from the, before their destruction uprises, and murders not only their own spirit, but the people around them as well. They become poised with the hate the host once displayed for me, however, in their time of grief I used to walk back to help them through their rough times. The understanding of who the real demons are has detoured me away from such foolish behavior as they can help themselves up. I manifest not through blood, but through communication with those at higher waves lifting me up with love.

There are different ways of dealing with everything. Stupidity seems to be the most common resort as I watch so  many fight over pointless things. I blow the minds of many when they ask my religion. I do not associate myself with that of any hate being portrayed by majority many times in a lifetime. Freeing myself of those chains holding so many back from exploring the world. Angels and demons alike are the people I see on a daily basis. I familiarize myself with that of a God. Our views differ, yet I'm a good person? Enough small talk, my focus is on the fire burning in my heart that increases with the hate which is like gasoline people throw at me too many times everyday. Tired of trying to turn back the hands of time, it seems I've lost my ways and my soul slowly. The constant begging of those for me to love a certain way when they have a life of their own for a reason. It would be pointless for me to speak to them about appreciating their own because they do not know what it is like to come in close contact with death daily in an area of demons who do not care to take another's life from them that morning or night. Why waste my time with your constant begging of a lifestyle you're not even living nor will you ever achieve? There has to be a realistic approach to something actually worth chasing like your dreams. Hold your peace for I do not want to listen to you or anyone else that doesn't have a grip on reality. They claim they have the cure and remedies, but yet to have cured themselves? Selling pipe dreams much like pimps did to our brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers around the world with those beliefs on how to live life, when really they only handed out crooked manuals as they play with your lives like a simple Game of GTA with the countless lives they mess over. Those lives being yours as you fall victim to their controls.

People demand respect for cruel unruly acts they commit daily? I follow no man nor do I follow a woman. I lead my own path, if you cannot pilot your own life then stay in your lane. I do not desire an accident of any sort in my life, nor do I plan on making anymore stops that will waste such precious time on those that refuse to gain back their own conscience to think for themselves. I love my beautiful queen whome I aim to live with for the rest of forever. She follows her dreams as I follow mine. Her dreams differ from mine, yet we support each other rather than trying to follow the same path in hope of guaranteeing success in life? Relationships of those that see the world for what it truely is rather than drape over the idea that obstacles seem impossible to overcome are the couples I choose to surround myself around. Much of the world is in the dark. Dreams have been put on pause and turned into Hopes amid prayers as people sit around letting our home be destroyed as they sit around waiting on a rapture. I respect those who hustle, those that overall are righteous. I feel that what I'm doing is right, so that's why I'm living in heaven. However, if I should do anything bad then I know there's a consequence that will follow. No man or woman can murder me. They may carry weapons around me, but their minds crumble from the power I hold within exploiting their weak heart and soul. Those people that display hate towards me, are certainly the same ones paying the price at the end of the day before they rest their heads to rest. The nights grow colder and looks become more distinct in character as I pick out each devil, and break them down to the simple fabrics which chemically makes them feel like they could have ever walked over anyone. Trapped doors do not exist to me as I travel a clear lane with the most beautiful blessings known to man which are my eyes for admiring this wonderful life I live.


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