where it starts

where it starts

Status: In Progress

Genre: Romance

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Status: In Progress

Genre: Romance

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Prolog (v.1) - Empty = Normal

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: May 23, 2017

Reads: 57

A A A | A A A

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: May 23, 2017

A A A

A A A

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 "Life is pain. I get up in pain. I go to work in pain. Do you know how many times I've thought about giving up? How many times I've thought of just ending it?"

I was never one for quotes or sayings. I never thought they were particularly useful: their purpose is to basically motivate some sad individual who doesn't have the drive to act. Some determined speaker usually, who went through shit, telling people their sob story to let them know their not alone.  Like they can paint their river of success to look like rainbows and daisies from  some Saturday Morning cartoon special. To most people it doesn't pan out that way, it's a joke. 

They preach to a crowd of kids, sounding all enthusiastic like, squawking while walking up and down the gymnasium floor. Making each teacher and student attentive to whatever bull shit is popping out of their mouth. Half the student population there because of regualtions, some because they get to pass class, and the rest for piquing their interest. Each speaker because of what they were educated in communications and pschycology acting like the understand and flapping their mouth about quotes. Quotes. 

The only thing I loved about them, one thing I learned in general with everything. There's a truth behind everything said, every word someone says has a light and a dark truth. People are probably the most cruel and selfish beings on earth; they are liars and masters of their decietful ploys.  However the truth is sometimes the most darkest and harshest reality, that everyone cowers from.  It's not a mystery. Doctor House, although he's a fictional character he had a lot of truths behind his brutally honest words. I found them all correct. "Life is pain." It can be a taste of beautiful sunlight in the darkest day, but more sorrow than all the people in the world can possibly stand. 

The world is extremely big. I've always underestimated how large. For the past 20 years of my life I've lived in small cities and though the population was big, I felt small. Tiny, like a mouse about to be stepped on if I ran too fast.  Because of  my lack of diversity and closed in a shell within a shell, I had zero expectations. Thinking now I don't know if it was good, nor bad. It was through my years of learning life harshly but quickly that wherever the pieces fell I would accept it. 

But I would remember one crucial thing. One phrase that I made myself. One that i said to myself more than a thousand times that kept me sane.

" You're empty. Hallow in fact. You don't feel, you aren't permitted to even do so, not even allowed. Empty is all you know."  

Those words resound in my head, so clear my conscience screams them. As I startle myself awake I remember the hell I'm in, I wake exhausted and hopeful that  today will be better just maybe this will be where it starts. 

 

 


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