The Attack of the Water Bug

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
A tale of the dreaded water bug.

Submitted: May 24, 2017

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Submitted: May 24, 2017

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Omg..Omg

You're not gonna believe this shit. Right after I texted you about be tramatized about your telling me about the water bugs, GUESS WHAT HAPPENED:

I'm sitting there thinking what am I gonna do today. It's suposed to rain so I don't want to go out, but there's some things I need to do. All of the sudden I hear this noise, you know the noise I'm talking about. It's when water bugs fly and then they land and make the LOUD SMACK SOUND. The sound was real close to me, my heart automatically started beating like a mad drummer. Without moving I let my eyes scan my bed to the right and low and behold my fear had materialized. On the edge of my bed was this big ass nasty ass water bug. Right now my mind is racing like a African runner. It was then the water bug must have sensed my presense because it turned and looked at me, I looked at it and it was ON!!!

It started to move, I jumped up off the bed, fell and busted my ass. I go to get up and out the corner of my eye I see movement. Without waiting to see what it is, I get up and crash into the chair that was supporting my flat screen. I'm not even thinking about the tv, I'm looking for this bitch ass water bug. I hear a noise and in my haste to get away, I step on the front of my flat screen tv, shattering it to pieces. At this point I don't even care about the tv. I run to the door and stupid me, I'm trying to run out the door at the same time I'm pulling it open. Needless to say what happened; I got a big ass gash on my forehead and blood in running down my face. 

I run into the kitchen, not even thinking about the blood on my face. I'm peeking out looking for that dam water bug. What seemed like forever, but was actually a few seconds; I see the water bug shoot out my room. I'm looking at this crazy ass bug and its running right towards me, fast as hell. I'm backing up not sure what to do, I don't have no shoes on, so I can't kill it. I'm back in the corner now, my only choice is to run, jump over it and run back in my room. Which of course I do. I get back in my room and see my broken tv and now I'm tighter than a frogs asshole. I grab my sneaker, determined to kill this dude.

Fear is no longer an option, one of us has to go. I'm easing my way back towards the kitchen, looking in every direction to see if can find this water bug. I look every where and don't see it. I'm like I gotta find and kill this thing or I'll never sleep. As I'm walking towards my room, just on GP, I look up and the dam water bug is right above me on the ceiling following me. I move, it moves. So now I know what its thinking. It wants to attack me from the air. Not gonna happen, I run into my room, grab a towel and come back out. I knock the water bug off the ceiling by throwing the towel at it. 

When the towel hits the floor I don't see the water bug. With my sneaker in my right hand, I snatch the towel up with my left; ready to beat it to death. I snatched the towel so hard that the water bug went flying. It landed on my chest and started running on me. I literally lose my MIND!  I'm snatching my clothes off like a mad mad. The next thing I know I'm standing by the bathroom, sneaker in hand, butt ass naked. I see the water bug run by and I smacked flames out his ass. I beat it down until I was 100% sure it was DEAD

I go back in my room and sit on my bed and I look at my broken tv on the floor, shaking my head. I get dressed, grab the broom and dust pan. I sweep up the water bug and give him a descent burial at sea; right down the toilet bowl.

I'm like wow, what a day. What else can go wrong today?

Foolish question, stay tuned for my next crazy adventure!!!

 

 


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