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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Personal Finance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: May 28, 2017

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Submitted: May 28, 2017

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I’m retarded

Day 1

 

I do everything wrong. I can’t socialize. I can’t talk normally. I always stress things and make things way worse than they are. I should shut up because I usually never say anything good. At this point, everyone is tired of me and I’m getting tired of myself. What is wrong with me…? I wish I could talk normally to others and not be so retarded. I speak when I am not supposed to. I don’t realize my mistakes until someone fully points them out or if the mistake is extremely clear to myself.

 

Being alone is best for me I have my thoughts to myself I can talk to myself about things and not having to worry about hurting others. I break other people’s hearts and hurt them. I can’t do anything correctly. I hate myself in every aspect. I do not deserve the respect I get I do not deserve the love I get I do not deserve anything. I deserve to get treated like shit and get hated on. I don’t like who I am. I don’t like when others look at me differently and the things I do is fucking retarded but if I don’t do anything that I like or do things for who I am then I am not myself. I am just a made-up personality. I hide behind shitty jokes that aren’t even funny. I hide behind being weird and accept that I am a total piece of shit and nothing else. I am worth nothing…

 

I am a burden to everyone and I know everyone knows this. I’m so retarded that I must look things up on google to make myself a speck of dust better but then I forget that in a day because my brain doesn’t work with me as I am retarded. I can’t focus on one thing. I always lose my focus. I can’t think straight. I can’t talk when spoken to. I am worthless… Even my own family hates me. I let everyone down. I don’t deserve this life. My mind hates me. My mind never works with me. I start panicking and losing my breath.

 

I can’t handle my own mistakes. I don’t want anyone to try to help me it’s just a waste of time on me. I don’t deserve the help. I don’t deserve my friends. I don’t deserve my family. I can only cry to make myself feel better. I like being alone then I am away from everyone I can hurt. I feel better when I am alone. I have failed myself countless of times. I want to be able to talk normally. Never mind… I will be alone so it’s fine, I’ll keep my thoughts to myself. No one needs to hear them because it’s all bullshit anyways. I am not motivated in whatever I do. I don’t like socializing. I am a piece of shit person and judgmental yet I don’t want to be judged, I must be retarded when I think like that…I’m done for tonight good night


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