unwanted

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~~~~~~~~~~ v
**Listen to A Message to Tina Belcher by XXXTENTACION before reading. **
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm like a strain of Christmas lights, but only one bulb lights up at a time. No body likes those.

Submitted: May 29, 2017

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Submitted: May 29, 2017

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  1. I'm tired
  2. tired of being lied to(and yelled at),
  3. tagging along when im truly unwanted.
  4. the feeling of abhor is just knocking on my mental..
  5. like you even try to convince your own self
  6. "shes not that bad"
  7. I just hope you don't tease me then cheat on me.
  8. please just tell me I wasn't enough
    and we can just move on but,
  9. Fuck.
  10. I just want to be loved, but everyone has made their mark on me and none have truly loved me nor let me love them fully.
  11. I'm sad, no one can hold me longer than 5 seconds without hating my face; disgusted with me. and I can't seem to help.
  12. I can't seem to make connections
  13. real soul bonding connections with anyone ever
  14. Its really painful..
  15. I lack many things
  16. but,
  17. I feel a lot of love.
  18. I just want to cherish someone so damn much,
  19. love them, give them everything they deserve
  20. in my eyes its the world and beyond what we know
  21. but no one wants my love.
  22. its tainted, its too much..
  23. everytime i'm mislead, called over, "wanted" then once i'm close and the light is actually on my face
  24. its horrifying isnt?
  25. everyone runs!
  26. I know its not just my face,
  27. its the way I jitter,
  28. my eyes never rest,
  29. I can never sit still,
  30. always playing with my hands,
  31. avoiding eye contact,
  32. lost in my mind too much, hyper when im alone,
  33. but scared and awkward around poeple.
  34. no one wants to see my gross smile
  35. no body want my eyes on them,
  36. fair
  37. i hate being seen, starred at, judged but
  38. I don't think there will ever be someone I can gaze at without annoying them.
  39. I'm just anoying, everything about me.
  40. I'm stupid, everyone knows it.
  41. honestly if the people in my life were asked by strangers to describe me
  42. It'd be so dull, nothing special about me.
  43. I'M FUCKED UP just say it! stop lying to me.
  44. I say you should tell me as soon as you feel it, the I'm done with you 
  45. but everyone just plays and toys with me.
  46. I want to go. run and not come back
  47. not like anyone looked for me while i was gone
  48. none noticed anything
  49. only bad, only hate
  50. unwanted.
  51. I just want to be held, truly held.
  52. just someone to see me,
  53. want to talk to me
  54. want to hear what I have to say, how I feel
  55. give a fucking care
  56. please
  57. someone just allow me to rest my head near them and not expect anything from me.
  58. lie with someone and just be.
  59. When someone says im theirs,
  60. i'm really just a secret
  61. no ones proud of me, to have me, to be seen with me
  62. I don't think anyones going to want to tell the world about me
  63. i'm just a shame.
  64. Why am i so unwanted so badly.
  65. Why am i a nooses to every person I know.
  66. Father forgive, them for testing, me


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