Shattered Innocence

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Review Chain
A true short story I wrote in high school for an advanced writing class. All names have been changed. Only reveal I can legally give is that Emma is me.

***UPDATE: I decided to write the long overdue sequel to this (my downward spiral due to the emotional damages from this event occurred once I went away to college later that year) but it is going to take time since I have to write down every event I remember and then try to put it in order -- this story happened in April/May of 2009 and the sequel happened from September of 2009 to April 2010 roughly. It will be longer due to the lengthy span of time, but it will still be a short story (obviously important stuff didn't happen every day so time jumps will happen). Hope you enjoy this story and the sequel when I post it!***

Submitted: May 31, 2017

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Submitted: May 31, 2017



I swirled the red dot from the laser pointer I held in my hand around the floor, unable to keep from smiling as an orange-brown fluffball of a kitten chased it intently. It was one of eleven kittens in my best friend Kaylie's house amongst the four cats her family owned. Kaylie stared at the TV absentmindedly as she placed a strand of her short, dirty blonde hair behind her ear. I was waiting for my friend Aiden to pick me up -- my mom didn't approve of him for the shallow reason that he acted like an idiot freshman year, much like most boys. She worked at the high school we all went to, so she thought she knew everything about everyone. We were now both seniors, and a lot had changed in the past three years. 


"What time is he picking you up, Emma?" Kaylie asked me. I shrugged. 


"He said after he gives Ben a ride home from school," I replied, running a hand through my black-brown chin length hair. My sideswept bangs fell right back into my sky blue eyes, just like they always did. Suddenly, a shout from one of Kaylie's nephews was audible from the kitchen. Her hazel eyes perked up in annoyance. 


"Tom, go to your room. You're still being punished for bringing your DS to school. Devin, do your homework!" Kaylie yelled, having a sixth sense for knowing who was at fault. Tom was the younger of the nephews Kaylie had to babysit every day since her half-sister worked days and her brother-in-law slept due to working nights. 


"Haaaaaave you heard the news that you're deeaad? No one ever had much nice to say, I think they never liked you anyway..." My phone sang the song "Dead!" by My Chemical Romance to inform me that I was receiving a call. I looked outside to see Aiden's 2007-ish Honda Pilot in its odd, steel metallic blue color sitting behind my car. I silenced my phone instead of answering it. 


"See you later, Kaylie!" I said as I grabbed my black purse and began walking down the steps that led to the front door. 


"Bye," Kaylie replied. I headed out the door and crossed the street so I could hop into the front passenger seat of Aiden's car. He turned to look at me, his shaggy light brown hair falling into his almond-shaped brown eyes. 


"Hey, Emma," he greeted. I smiled in return. 


"What's up?" I asked. He shrugged and started the car. 


"Not much really. You?" He asked as he began to drive down West Diane Road. 


"I was having fun with a laser pointer and Kaylie's kittens," I told him, laughing at the thought. 


"My cat figured that one out. He just looked up at my hand holding the laser pointer one day and lost interest," Aiden explained. "So what do you want to do?" I shrugged. I was always a pretty indecisive person. 


"I don't know. I can never pick places to hang out," I answered honestly, my mind predictably drawing a massive blank whenever anybody asked me that question. 


" about Laser Quest?" Aiden suggested. My eyes lit up at the thought -- I loved video games and I always pictured Laser Quest like a giant, real life version. 


"Sounds cool. I've never been there before," I stated. Aiden stared at me incredulously, his jaw practically on the floor of the car. 


"What? Really? We have to go then!" Aiden replied excitedly. 




After a really amazing hour at Laser Quest, Aiden had to drive me back to Kaylie's house by 5:00 PM because I was meeting up with Sidney, a boy I'd been seeing recently. Suddenly, I heard my phone ring. I looked at the time -- it was about 5:10 PM. 


"Hey. Where are you?" Sidney's voice asked when I answered my LG Chocolate 2 that was a shimmery light blue color. 


"Five minutes from Kaylie's house," I told him. 


"Okay. See you then," Sidney said before hanging up. 


When we arrived, I saw Sidney's 1994 red Cadillac parked outside of Kaylie's house. I hopped out of the seat of Aiden's car. 


"Bye!" I said. 


"See you Monday," Aiden replied before I shut the door. I walked to Sidney's Cadillac, opened the door to the front passenger seat, and plopped down. I was next to the boy I had feelings for -- he had shoulder-length black-brown hair that was shaved underneath and chocolate brown eyes. He was wearing a band t-shirt with black and neon green Tripp shorts. 


"Hey," he said, leaning in to give me a kiss on the lips. 


"Hi," I replied, smiling wide. 


"We have to run a couple errands for my dad before we get time to ourselves," he informed me. 


"Fine with me," I said. We rode around to a couple forgettable places before we drove back to Sidney's dad's house. We headed up the porch stairs and walked inside. I glanced around the now familiar place with three couches arranged around a TV in the corner of the living room by the window and stairs at the back behind one of the couches. Sidney and I sat down on the couch closest to the TV, and flipped the power button on the remote to turn it on to some nameless channel. I watched as he pulled out a bag of weed and his bowl. I realized I had somewhat missed smoking the green herb since Ryan and I broke up. I had never bought it myself -- Ryan always provided it. Sidney carefully filled the bowl with the crushed leaves and placed it gently to his lips. I observed as the leaves lit up with an orange glow from him lighting it. He took a deep breath in and passed the bowl to me. I made a sad attempt to repeat his actions, but failed in making the lighter produce a flame. For some reason, that part always gave me trouble -- I swore I was disabled in that area. 


Sidney lit the weed for me as I took a deep breath in. The smoke scorched my throat, making it feel as if it were on fire. I held my breath until my lungs felt as if they would burst, and let the smoke out like a dragon. We repeated the process about three more times each. I felt like my mind had separated from my body, like it wasn't in control anymore. I was going through an out-of-body experience, nothing like any weed high I'd felt before. Everything felt far away and numb, like I had been injected with novocaine that could travel through the bloodstream. Sidney straddled me, and due to how high I was feeling (trying to focus; but can't -- wondering for a split second if the weed was laced -- it felt so off from normal) I didn't care what happened next. 


"Want to go to my room?" Sidney whispered in my ear after several minutes of heavy making out. I nodded eagerly as we stumbled up the stairs to his room and he kicked the door shut. 




I was shaking as I put my clothes back on. I remembered telling Ryan while we were dating that I didn't want to have sex anymore. Sidney asked if I wanted to right before we did it -- my mind was so gone I couldn't even respond...and he went ahead with it anyway. I didn't want to do that...I told Sidney before tonight that I didn't want to have sex...was that rape? Isn't that what it is when one person doesn't consent? The thoughts crossed my mind and I couldn't process them. I suddenly noticed Sidney was staring at me. 


"Are you okay? Are you shaking because you're cold?" Sidney asked. I shook my head, incapable of forming actual words. "Because you're high?" Again I shook my head. "Because you just had sex?" I nodded, feeling tears pooling in my eyes. He held my face in his hands and turned my head to look at him. 


"You didn't want to do that. It shouldn't have happened. I promise I won't be a dick and stop talking to you, Emma," Sidney said, with what appeared to be sincerity reflected in his eyes. Boys had broken promises to me so many times before, but I couldn't help believing him. Naivety was strong in my personality and it was a near impossible thing to fight. We gathered our belongings to leave the house, since I had to be home by 9:30 PM and it was about 9:00 PM at the moment. I almost fell down the porch stairs, causing me to laugh uncontrollably despite my turmoiled mental state. 


"Are you all right?" Sidney asked me. I nodded, knowing my sense of balance was compromised because of how high I was. We got in his car and he drove me back to Kaylie's house, where he stopped behind my ice teal blue 2000 Honda Civic that was waiting for me. 


"I promise nothing will change. This --" Sidney interrupted himself to kiss me on the lips. "-- won't go away." I nodded, the tears pricking my eyes once again. My heart believed him -- my brain wanted to slap my heart upside the head. Somehow, my manipulative, masochistic heart won the argument. I watched him drive away as I walked to my car. 




A month had passed since the incident. Four long weeks of him never answering the phone when I called. Thirty of the longest days of my life of him never being online. I was working at Target trying to keep him out of my head as I worked my cashiering shift. My mind had to keep reminding my heart I told you so, unfortunately. His empty promises rang back and forth through my head as I fixed a display at the end of my register. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw...Sidney. Holding hands with his ex-girlfriend, Lanna. I felt the sting of betrayal at the evidence of his lies. I was just a meaningless filler until Lanna came crawling back to him. I had a literal urge to rip his face off and break down crying all at once. 


I tried to hold my emotions in, but I was trembling from the effort. I saw Sidney and Lanna get in line to check out. I had customers, so I attended to them and did not notice Lanna walk up to the side of my register. I looked up to see a giant smirk on her face. 


"Do you want to talk to my boyfriend?" She asked snidely, making sure I noticed the emphasis she put on "my boyfriend". I shook my head.


"No," I croaked, the emotions breaking their way through my cracked armor. I knew anything I had to say to Sidney or her would get me fired. She seemed to get a kick out of humiliating me, especially at the one place where I couldn't say or do anything about it. I don't know why she felt the need to rub salt in the wound -- we were in the same grade and shared a class, but we had never spoken a word to each other until now. My eyes burned with an intense desire to cry as all the memories rushed through my head at once. I had to run to the bathroom before I broke down right then and there. Fortunately, I didn't have any other customers. I shut the light on my register and bolted for the bathroom. I locked myself in a stall and started sobbing as a waterfall fell down my cheeks. Why had Sidney done this to me? Why had he broken his promises; built me up to feel special only to rip me apart and completely break me? My brain stopped thinking as I continued to feel like I was falling apart.

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