New Rules For Americans

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
What being an American now means

Submitted: May 31, 2017

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Submitted: May 31, 2017

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Let's put the other, much weaker, almost helpless, nations of the world be put on alert, there's a new Sheriff in town, me, The Big Dump, and 'Your days of feeding off the tit of the red, white, and blue are over, get your own tit, you're on notice, world,' so here's the new updated list of what it means to be an American:

 

Trust no one, especially if they look foreign. Anyone who isn't wearing a 'Billy Beer' tee shirt is suspect

 

Nations long thought an ally are not, believe me, they're not, they're just using America as a national ATM machine

 

Diplomacy will no longer be used, instead, belligerent swaggering and abusive language will show them f*****s who's boss, or at least who should be boss. It's the new world order--us, then all others

 

Polite and nice are for losers, weak, sniveling losers, we must project our superiority in overt displays of macho blustering

 

All historical norms will be ignored, as what does history shit have to do with today? Our forefathers are the reason other nations take unfair advantage of us. They were weak, where I, The Big Dump, will be strong.

 

Learning from the past, and curiosity are quaint and outdated. It's all about today, baby!

 

There's more, but I'm a busy man, tweeting, and am too busy lashing out at everyone who doesn't agree with me, I'll get back to you shortly with the remainder of the list, of "What It Means To Be American".

I'd like to quote another great Republican, 'Speak loudly, and be a big dick'!

 


© Copyright 2017 Mike S.. All rights reserved.

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