Avoiding Earth

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
God explains Himself.

Submitted: June 01, 2017

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Submitted: June 01, 2017

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Avoiding Earth

 

I’ll be honest, I’m a little embarrassed. It’s been billions – maybe trillions of years since I created the universe. Not to toot my own horn, but I think I did a pretty good job. A lot of people criticize my work, they say it’s too big, it’s too empty, what’s with all the balls of gas? etc. All these criticisms come from one source – Earth. Earth is a small grumbling microbe that has no shortage of complaints. I should never have created sentient life – I knew this would happen. I hate criticism, and to be fair, Earth makes a few good points. But I’m not perfect – this universe is just the vision I have. I know it doesn’t make any sense. Earth insists I explain myself, but to be honest, I just can’t. They want me to talk to them all, to explain what I was thinking, and why I create Earth in particular and all that nonsense. The thing is, I didn’t go out of my way to create the humans or Earth. It just sort of spiraled out of control. I just wanted to create a beautiful universe.

I did actually plan on returning to Earth, to show myself and tell everyone what’s what. But I kept putting it off for longer and longer. Why did I keep putting it off? Because the longer I put it off the more awkward my reappearance would be. The humans kept fighting amongst themselves over whether this theory or that theory is right, why God did this, why God did that. And frankly, some of the solutions and answers the humans have come up with are a lot more logical than my actual reasons. Things I created don’t always make sense, and the fact that some people have chosen to interpret my nonsensical inventions in such deep manner is akin to trying to find the literary merit in the manifesto of a lunatic. I don’t want to go and explain to them why I never decided to show myself, answer their prayers or how and why the universe exists. Because I have no satisfactory answers for them. And the longer I put it off, the more awkward it gets. I’m really just waiting for them to die off so they can stop asking me these questions. I like to walk around the rest of the universe rather than focus on Earth. Recently I’ve gotten into observing supernovas and riding through black holes. The creatures of Pergon 7 have introduced me to the concept of “ganarbuling” so I’ve been having fun with that.

Meanwhile, Earth rants and raves and prays. I can’t very well tell them after all this time that I can’t actually hear prayers. They think of me as some omniscient, omnipotent being. And I am to a certain extent, but frankly, they vastly overestimate my powers. I created the universe, sure. I can also fly and have super strength, but that’s about it. I think they would be disappointed in me. No, I think I’ll choose to remain an enigma. That way I can’t be proved right or wrong. Hopefully, the humans will die out soon and then I can quit worrying about them. I think I'll just let them pray and fight and give their reasons for why I’m ignoring them. In the meantime, I’m going to keep wandering about space, enjoying what I’ve created and staying away from the whining, bleating miscreants.

 

- God

 


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