The Silhouette

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
The story of a young boy in search of his true love.

Submitted: June 02, 2017

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Submitted: June 02, 2017




I have often wondered if I had it in me to write. Sure, as a kid I did write the occasional short story or two and may have even heard some praise. But whenever I put pen to paper with the intention of turning a page into more than just toilet paper.. I would usually be at a loss for words.

It was only later that I realised why.


Chapter one: The silhouette

"When am I finally gonna get married?" A thought not usually found in the mind of a seven year old boy, yet there he was, yearning for a wife. On other days he would dream of having a younger sibling to protect & love, but his favorite dream was always the ever after. He eventually tried to calculate when his dream would come true. And the idea that he probabaly wouldn't get married until the age of 22 crushed him. And as a boy with an active imagination that had the capacity to keep him well entertained for school day after school day.. he did what he did best. He cooked up the perfect wife and the perfect life. So vivid so beautiful it was almost not worth it to ever go back to the gray colored scenes which surrounded him. And in those memories and images that never were ..he found solace.

15 years later.

15 years have passed and the boy has become a decent 22 year old man. He had slowly learned through the years that a fraction of a beautiful reality tasted better than worlds of fiction. He had given up on his imagination entirely and figured it made more sense to put his energy into making his wishes come true.

The university he studied in housed much beauty, greenery, posh people and expensive lifestyles.

And then one day... there she was. Across from his table smiling at him as a common friend introduced them. She was a girl that somehow skillfully managed to fit the precise wife shaped silhouette in the fictive memories he fashioned as a boy and had thought forgotten. The boy has now discovered something. A deep rooted lingering hope to realise his favorite childhood dream. And unsusspectingly standing there, the poor girl earnestly shaking hands with the boy was the answer for it. Soon enough, he was learning what he could, shaping his life and resources, into making this hope, this dream, a reality. They became friends and maybe more. With 8 months of beautiful conversations, deep affection for one another he had unfortunately come to realise that they would not be. The reasons were varied but in the end it meant the same thing. And he would soon taste for the first time in his life, the feeling of soul crushing despair. A force so powerful it would get a strong positive minded man curling in despair over the loss of what could have been. A force so powerful, that his mind had to figure out a way to deal with it and it did. An emergency cure for an emergency state, if you will. He had learned to shut off his emotions. He had learned to be indifferent.

For a few years the boy seemed fine. He was blessed, smart, ambitious and led his life well, occasionally hearing jokes from his friends about how cold he was.

But sure thing was certain. From amongst the women he had dated every year or two he would eventually cross paths with her once more. Sometimes she's an architect, a scientist, a ballet instructor or sometimes a florist. But sure enough he would run into the woman of his dreams, the one that fits his unrealistic silhouette. And the same film would play again. He had gotten better and learned to hold it together for longer. Making her laugh, sharing special moments with her and possibly making her fancy the idea of being with him. He would keep this up just until he sees from her the first signs of reciprocated affection. And that's where he slips. He unintentionally let's loose a sliver of emotion from behind the dams he had built in his mind. And she feels it. Subconciously recognises it. Sooner than she should have. The oceans of love he had in store for her, and his possible possesion of unrealistic expectations.

External affection.. come at the right time and it is an answer for prayers. A drink of water for a soul stranded in the desert.

But come too soon, his affection would feel like a restriction of freedom, likely accompanied by a wave of guilt for having lead a sensitive man on without the certain promise of mutual affection.

The boy is smart enough to learn and improve, but wonders what the next silhouette shaped angel has in store for him? Is it paradise or another lesson.

To be continued...


Writer's note:

I have finally realised what I needed to get the pen running was to set my emotions free.

© Copyright 2018 El Banna. All rights reserved.

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