To the guy I never had

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
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Submitted: June 03, 2017

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Content

Submitted: June 03, 2017

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I used to have this game inside my head wherein I think of a person and decide whether I'll let him in or not. I set boundaries to different individuals I meet every day. I have always chosen the wrong person; I end up wounded, unable to recover
 
There was this guy whom I told myself I will never like, who was always mean and unappreciative. It may sound cliché but I did like him. I never knew that until the moment I got drunk. It was clearer the moment I finally got to be with his side and sleep. With my inconsistent heartbeat, I felt so troubled knowing that he could wake up any time. Knowing he'll leave my side. My heart was furious and I was reluctant to leave.
 
I heard him saying just one word. That alone was enough to make me stay. And I felt safe that he was okay with me beside him. Hugging me. And finally, he caught me with one bite on my lip. And I cried. Then I fell asleep.
 
We woke up, we were far from each other, acting like nothing happened. I wondered what this is until I felt that maybe it was just a dream, so I never asked what we were. After that, I wake up every morning fresh from nightmares about what we could have been and all I can do is nothing but cry. So I write poems about him and mae it look like they are stories of the other guys I made out with. And I tried to live my life pretending nothing has changed while everything between us is slowly drifting apart.
 


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