example

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We are not in this World to increase our problems. We are here to be happy, stay happy & go happily dear. Contentment matters to all lives. Please help Sayani to learn this.

Submitted: June 03, 2017

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Submitted: June 03, 2017

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Do you really think, you are putting a right example in front of your kid?

Do you really believe it would be worth it, in a long run?

How could you do this to your child?

What nonsense are you talking Siya?

Could you please explain it to us?

Siya was talking to her friend Mira & her husband Neelesh.

So because only we three are sitting here, I think, I can talk openly to you guys.

Siya seemed quite calm while saying this to both of them.

I hope you don’t mind me as interfering in your personal space, though I know, that I am doing so, but I am not doing this for you, trust me, if you can, I am doing this for your child, for Sayani, your such an adorable buddle of joy, she really is an angel, you know? & I hope you let her bloom in the best way possible.

What is wrong with you Siya? What are you talking? You mind, making clear conversations?

Oh no, I definitely won’t, in fact, I am indeed, willing to make clear discussions with both of you, because I won’t be able to see Sayani as a grown-up individual who is actually a confused adult, who cannot decide what is the right path to lead a happy life? Because she has grown up seeing the unsatisfying, unhappy, distant, distract devotion less marriage or should I better say a relationship because as you two are so far from each other, I don’t feel you have ever given your child the sense of family, a nous that is known as family.

I know quite well that you both are excusing your marital distance as a job & career demand. I agree that today Sayani will accept it too as a child but someday she will understand that it was rather a different story which kept her parents apart. I understand everybody needs a career, if it is just for a time being that someone has to stay separate from their loved ones known as family, then it’s quite Ok for the kid also to make them understand & learn that career is essential for all individuals, even the child will learn it in a positive light with a positive vibe, but if that stands as a forever thing it is going to be a blotch on your child’s sensibilities. Everybody needs money but up to what extent did this permanent un-separated separate marriage is justified?

Today you are teaching your small little child that money is the most important thing, even more than her. Do you think you are not putting her in the option category of your life? Do you think it is not taking a place in her mental process of understanding & learning that she is not as important as she is born to be?

I think as adults we all know that life is short, we all know that all the luxuries of the world belongs to the people but can we reverse this statement as all the people in the world belong to luxuries? It is the people first & not the luxury, only when a person is present is when we require luxuries. If there is no one around then what is the need of all that luxuries?  You remember your childhood? You didn’t had ever thing but you knew one thing very well that your parents love you more than anything & that feeling filled you with the sense of security, & made you grow up in such a confident adult as you people are today. Isn’t it?

Do you even bother to understand that what experience does she is going to pick with this feeling of being left alone by one of the guardian mother or father at a time?  She will feel insecure, unconfident & moreover unloved because materialistic things like toys never make your child feel loved, if you think it does I must correct you by saying frankly that it is wrong, giving every material to your child that he/she asks is not love, even your child knows that, staying with your kid is Love that you will understand when she will be grown up in a better, confident & secure lady because of the presence of her parents. Today if you are making Sayani feel as money is even more important than her, can harm her further than you will have ever thought off. She will learn, not to care for people, their sentiments, emotions or feelings, not caring for love for a person, because she has never seen so, has never experienced what it is like, to put people first, instead of all the other things of life because she has just seen & learned that money is important.

Someday you people will realize this as parents when she could be all full of money yet all lonely because you as parents taught her that money is the only important aspect of life & you must leave everyone for money but never leave money for anyone, You never taught her how her dad & mom love each other how they do little things that makes the other one happy, what is it like to have the love of a life partner. Can you people, will ever understand the meaning of this on a life which has all rights today to learn how to live & survive, from you guys as you are the parents?

I know you are covering your broken marriage with the name of job & career but what if, she is learning that she is not loved that much for which her parents may leave all behind? You are somewhere making Sayani learn & feel unwanted & even trying to teach her that being unhappy or unsatisfied is OK, for God sake as parents you must teach your child as to whatever doesn’t fulfills your mind, soul & heart should be left behind & you should look for better destinations in life. You should teach her being happy by which that makes her happy & not accepting that anything which doesn’t makes her so. I know you people are struggling to keep your marriage for your child, I seriously respect that a lot but will this sacrifice going to make your child that, which she should be, or is it going to harm her in the future ahead, she will learn even to hang on to things which are not serving any means with which a person feels fulfilled because fulfillment leads to a happy & healthy life.

Someday when she will be an adult she will certainly understand that her parents were not happy in their marriage & so she too will believe that being unhappy in a relationship is fine, is Ok, it can stay this way. Tell me do you really want such a future for your child? Where she will be unhappy but still into it? Why can’t you people teach her to be happy by being happy either by being together or if you can’t make it so then with a happy separation, seeing unhappy relationships is no way a good watch for a child. As a grown up Sayani will understand your happy separation even better that your unhappy togetherness. She will understand that thinking of our happiness too leads us to path of happiness for others as well; I hope you have heard the saying that only those who are happy can make others happy. Teach your child to separate herself from any unhappy situation. Your child will always learn by your example Mira & not by teachings, if she is curious about such a separation you can tell her with an audacity that you were not happy together, so you moved on to make life a bit easier for both of you, trust me, if she will be answered gracefully she will respect you people in an even better manner. Give it a thought dear, before doing anything that your child will adapt from you. Make her adapt the good things by forgetting all that the society tells is right & by doing all that you feel is right.

We all as humans have a responsibility towards the future & our kids too belong to the future. So teach & feed them with good examples. Good, as in, the manner in which they can stay happy & caring at the same time. Happy in their oneself, own life without thinking about the society & so much caring too that they may leave all the wealth of the whole World just to be, with the people, who matter to them, whom they love, & those who love them.

What are you talking Siya? Puneet questioned, even Mira had all questions on her face but silent.

Siya said bluntly, Is it, that you really don’t understand or you are just trying to convenience yourself that you don’t?

I am actually not able to understand this Siya.

Ok, fine, I understand, it is a bit difficult to understand, let me make it easy for you. said Siya.

I am going to say two sentences to you, tell me how do you feel about it, is it fine with you people? Questioned Siya?

Both Mira & Puneet nodded.

So here I go …Said Siya.

“Stay unhappy but Stay.”

How do you find it?

Bad, both said in one voice.

Why? Siya questioned.

Puneet said, because there is a term unhappy; tell me who wants to be unhappy by the way.

Yes, Mira now it’s your turn why did you find it bad?

Because if my unhappiness is not the concern for the person who is asking me to stay then what’s the point in staying? Mira said.

It felt like both where still trying to understand the statement.

Siya said once again now answer to this one, as how did you feel about it.

Go be there wherever you feel happy. You have all the rights on your life & you must live it, learn it well because we all get just one life.

Tell me how will you feel if you have to say it to Sayani? With statement will you pick the first one or this one?

We will be happy that our child could stay happy with this sense. Together they approved the latest one.

Then why are you not teaching it to her? By putting an example, either by being together or by being separated in a manner, which is obvious.

I request you; don’t cover that anything which could come out in the worst form latter. Your child is not just your part it is also your responsibility that the future demands you to fulfil in the best possible way.

I hope as a friend I made my point well. I don’t believe in being a home breaker but I also don’t believe in unhappy homes, unhappy people & unhappy relationships which lead to a difficult future for the ones who are still learning to know how to be happy & stay happy forever.

We are not in this World to increase our problems. We are here to be happy, stay happy & go happily dear. Contentment matters to all lives. Please help Sayani to learn this.

With her gracious smile Siya made her final point & went ahead to kiss Sayani who was playing alone in the garden.

– Suchita MeeraIndu Shukla


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