/Rant

/Rant

Status: In Progress

Genre: Other

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Status: In Progress

Genre: Other

Houses:

Summary

Occasionally I feel the need to rant. Sometimes I share these, other times I don't or I delete them soon after venting because my nerves typically don't allow me to have them up for long. I write these often in the wee hours of the morning after much lack of sleep. Forgive in advance the incoherent nature of my ramblings, grammer, spelling and also the occasional swear. :) Anyways... enjoy dipping into my insanity.
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Summary

Occasionally I feel the need to rant. Sometimes I share these, other times I don't or I delete them soon after venting because my nerves typically don't allow me to have them up for long. I write these often in the wee hours of the morning after much lack of sleep. Forgive in advance the incoherent nature of my ramblings, grammer, spelling and also the occasional swear. :) Anyways... enjoy dipping into my insanity.

Chapter1 (v.1) - /rant Musings on Sanity and the fear of ourselves.

Author Chapter Note

I write this in the wee hours of the morning after much lack of sleep, forgive in advance the incoherent nature of my ramblings, grammer, spelling and also the occasional swear. :)
Enjoy.
E.VA.

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: June 03, 2017

Reads: 32

A A A | A A A

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: June 03, 2017

A A A

A A A

/rant

I came across a quote within a meme recently, that really renewed my urge to write. An urge that has been otherwise stagnant as of late, so I feel I must pounce upon this muse before it runs away.

The unattributed quote reads:

“Mental illness is like fighting a war where the enemy’s strategy is to convince you that the war isn’t actually happening.”

I had to do some searching of course, find out where it was from (seems too many people have been attributed in order to narrow it actually down to one person alone) but… regardless of whom said it and when, it rang a cord with me.

I found myself asking… firstly…

Why do I feel like this can be applied to the political climate?

And then I struck upon an answer. It certainly wasn’t one that I thought would arrive in the grey matter betwixt my ears but, nonetheless an answer. Like a small light-bulb turning on I was greeted at the door of my question with;

Perhaps having a mental illness is the only sane response in a world gone mad.

At first, I thought this reply was quite amusing as I thought about my anxiety and as the song “Mad World” played in my skull but then I began to think more fully on it and had to stop my internal jukebox from playing “Hello Darkness my old friend” instead.

For you see, my experience with humanity thus far in my life has not encouraged me to think too fondly of human nature. Hope for it? Sure. Spend too long in its company? Certainly not. I have too high of a personal percentage chance of meeting an Asshole, than I do any Saint.

Put bluntly, if it is true that humans are of two angels, then the arguably better angel of our nature has either been slacking off in many cases …or very clearly went on vacation.

We are the monsters of this planet, far worse, than any fiction can devise or seek to envision; and we are constantly coming up with new ways to kill each other or anything else in our path, far faster, than any saintly ideal of -as it harms none, do as thou wilt- and acts of altruism.

We have the resources, the capability, and ability to solve many of the ills of our world, and yet… we choose to go backwards…. out of fear.

Everything comes down to mother fucking fear.

We are quite frankly creatures of fear; driven by it as surely as if were we the car and it the driver.

Fear is instinctual, guttural and a visceral thing that in many cases we do not have ways to cope with, manage or otherwise not knee-jerk in response to the stimuli that sets us off.

The wolves of us, those who use fear as a weapon or shepherds cane, have for as long as humanity has been around utilized it as a means of control over over others often out of a fear they hold themselves and will never admit too.

Sadly the wolves periodically throw off their sheep clothing, standing boldly and often in positions of power, in a center square prophesying about their specific weapon or cane of choice in order to see how many of the rest of us, either hold the same fears they do, will follow blindly their lead or will otherwise emulate their behavior in order to gain more followers to -the cause-.

After all, misery loves company… does it not?

The non-wolves will seek to emulate the predator blindly out of fear of becoming prey themselves, either as a victim of what the predator is saying is something to fear or out of fear of rebuke or backlash if they do not follow the herd of often loved ones they do not want to lose the respect of or fear the loss of social or economic standing.

Which is just preposterous fear to have, after all its 2017, not like someone in this day and age could lose their job, livelihood, be forced to move, receive death threats or in some places actually die from some unforgiving social backlash over a misunderstanding of intent or accidental social misstep. ( Sarcasm.)

The worst of the non-wolves are those very close to becoming wolves themselves but aren’t fully so. These people are wolves in their sheep's clothing still and utilize passive aggressiveness as a weapon at the bidding of their own fears, often after having been scared by a wolf themselves.

These types of sheepdogs, prey on the fear of emotion.

These folk suffer under the delusion that they are -helping- a fellow non-wolf by regurgitating the same barking that they were subjected too as if it were holy writ and thus must be followed to the letter regardless of the personal wants, preferences and sanity etc of those they speak too.

These special individuals act under the wish to do well by their fellow humans but often the -help- offered is not -help- welcomed nor often is the -help- given in a manner that is -helping- and they become very agitated when rebuked.

They will become so greatly offended and emotional that their altruistic offer was rebuked and/or otherwise turned down that they will then often manipulatively guilt trip their victim of forced instruction/ forced help into apologizing or condemn any emotion the victim had to the encounter under the fear that they will suffer backlash from their offer of -help-.

Heaven forbid you dare to say “no” to one of these special lessons/special sheepdogs and not have the stamina to hold out against being made out to be the villain and reason for every ill in their life story.

These types of wolves, these sheepdogs, prey on the fear of emotional whiplash, and often utilize the same tricks they suffered from or were in fear of.

Perhaps the wolf analogy has gone a bit too far, but if you’re still with me…

lemme ask you….

Have you ever noticed how Assholes who use fear tend to run in packs?….
And gossip circles always have more than one hen?…

Humans will sometimes unconsciously mimic the predatory use of fear they had experienced in their lives under the belief that by doing so, by maintaining the same bias, stereotypes and cognitive dissonance as their peers that they will somehow gain a perceived benefit to their own social or economic standing.

What’s worse is the rest of us desensitized by these fear garnering ruses and fear mongering advice before, by and large, don’t care to change the status quo because of the fear in the adage of -better the devil you know, than one you don’t-

We silence, shun, belittle, vilify and pariah all attempts to alert and call to arms against such wolves out of fear it will make the situations worse rather than better or fear that we will be made out to be the ones to blame next.

We accept cages of convenience under the guise of distorted meanings to our much beloved words like freedom, security, privacy, safety and equality; like terms of service contracts we scrolled to the bottom swiftly to click accept, without reading because we allowed our patience to grow thin.

We have allowed a ringing of a bell to make us salivate at whatever they throw before our eyes and told us it is food, told us is beneficial or to make us growl at anything they have told us is harmful.

In the absence of an actual enemy, the innocent is made dangerous and other in order to maintain order through fear.

If you fear your neighbor, fear your world, fear yourself, fear everything and anything is going to harm you, you do not notice the shackles you have willingly accepted in the name of “protection” or the harm you do to yourself and others under the gleefully added hoops of “security.”

If you fear everything around you will take away your rights, your virtues and your freedoms, you can be easily swayed to believe that the giving of the same freedoms you enjoy to people who did not have it… is somehow going to lessen or take away your freedom when that isn’t the reality. The fear at a loss of personal freedom at the extension of freedom given to those who do not have it in the same capacity is a visceral reaction bred in through generations of control measures that keep you reinforcing like sheepdogs and wolves the status quo.

Trigger words of often misshapen meanings are meant to evoke a visceral reaction in the population (the herd). These words hollered out by the Shepherd to get the sheepdogs to attack, to push and will turn the tide of the herd any damn way the Shepard wishes are effective. They are frighteningly effective and with an often, scarily easy, rate of predicted success. Our reactions to such words are predictable to such a degree that you can put money down on how dependable the herd will sway one way or another.

If you know the patterns, the generational sheepdoggng, the trigger words, the key phrases, that get the herd turning this way or that, you could be the biggest threat to every shred of decency, common sense and justice in this world known to humanity but you will get votes, you will rise to power and the hard to believe thing is… you’ll keep it, no matter how worse you get.

We have been bombarded with years and years of societal training to willingly accept, willingly believe and willingly follow the herd into the cattle lines of society.

If someone knows the code that we naturally herd into, we’re fucked. As that person will always be able to con and make enough people believe them to rise to power and maintain that power regardless of almost anything short of murder.

We go in these herd lines knowing, in some cases, full well, that that abrupt voice of alarm ahead of us was silenced by an unseen hammer. Some part of us realizes, deep down something is wrong at those cries of alarm but fear keeps us silent and accepting of fates that aren’t always meant to be.

We also go into these herd lines fully realizing that saying this or that, doing this or that, is going to get us killed if we make too much of a fuss that cannot be easily dismissed, refuted or discounted in some manner enough that enough people ignore it.

The status quo must be maintained. The common people cannot be allowed to unite; they must continue to be divided and become sheepdogs and wolves reinforcing those divisions.

We go ino these herd lines hoping that we will be spared the hammer or our suffering will be shorter than the cow ahead of us.

We do not speak, because we fear rebuke or to be made the villian ourselves in an unforgiving age where people would rather destroy someone’s ability to live, for being human and making a mistake or being misunderstood in their intent than listening to the better angel’s voicemail to be good in their absence. (Cause remember that better angel is on vacation. Ha!)

There is hope however… Granted that demon bitch plays both sides of the fence but, there’s hope.

Unfortunately…like many addiction recovery groups state, the first step is admitting there is a problem.

There is a problem.

Fear.

Fear is the problem. 
And our world has gone -mad- with it.

However its not fear of some straw man outsider that’s got the world going nuts, its fear of ourselves that translates into fear of others because we fear what we are capable of.

We fear the patterns of behaviour that people fall into based on our experiences with them often because we fear we do the same damn thing.

For instance… Honestly, everyone has picked their damn nose at some point. Everyone has scratched their ass… to claim not to is a reaction born of fear of judgement or societal frowing/loss of respect upon your conduct.

Ultimately…

We fear the heights and the depths of our own souls and if we ourselves are capable of such (even only in imaginings), what must then another be able to do upon our person…

Or our loved ones…
Or our country….
Or our… 
I think you get the point.

Now after all that, what does any of it have to do with the meme and why did my muse decide to kick up their heels and go for a dance?

Because all of what I said is shit that’s already been said in more words than I have but yet, like the meme quote we are told all of this shit, doesn’t exist.

Everyone has been dancing around the fear inherient in everything but no one’s fully gotten the steps right too explaining it. The beat of the music has always been offkilter or jaded and biased as some wolf or sheepdog is always looking for a pat on the head or scrap of meat. Too many fingers have been dipped into the water and now all the disturbed mud makes seeing to the bottom murky and unclear. All of what I said is shit that’s already been said in more words than I have but yet, like the meme quote we are told all of this shit, doesn’t exist.

In a world where -sanity- is disturbing the waters to the point no one can see the fish below or the actions of the wolves in the reflection… maybe the only sane thing is insanity and babbling incoherently into blog pages like this.

To be honest…

If -sane- means I must make everything a monochrome issue and simplify our world into a -us- vs -them- football match despite those two terms of -us- and -them- fluxuating on the daily like a fucked up reality tv show….. Then I will not partake of your so called sanity.

If -sane- means I must despise another for something they cannot or do not have the ability to change; shun them or deny them basic human rights or deny them the dignity of living a life without fear of persecution, judgement or discrimination… Then I will not partake of your so called sanity.

If -sane- means I must go to such ends of persecution as to make human error such a sin so as to need to villify and utterly destroy another for a mistake to such a point that they can never show their face again, let alone get a job….Then I will not partake of your so called sanity.

If -sane- means I must fear everything so much that I attack everything without first asking why and what benefit does my fear award… Then I will not partake of your so called sanity.

If -sane- means I must double down on a misunderstood concept, do not question what I’m told in favor of doing my own research and be forced to ignore reality …Then I will not partake of your so called sanity.

If -sane- means that I must treat someone differently because of their ancestry when they have done no harm themselves to me or others or they must treat me differently for mine when I have done no harm… Then I will not partake of your sanity.

If -sane- means that I must pressure, memorize to the letter and force others to believe in some divine concept under often severe punishment … Then I will not partake of your sanity.

If -sane- means believing that the three out of the four horsemen can’t be silenced with the means and resources we currently have available to us… Then I will not partake of your sanity.

If -sane- means believing that .1% of a .1% percent of a population is the cause of all the ills in the world that have ever occurred…. Then I will not partake of your sanity.

I could go on… but you get the point.

Suffice to say…
After seeing the quote and letting my muse run wild. 
I think I can start finally accepting my particular shade of insanity :)
I mean, at least I can admit I’m fucking terrorfied of every last one of you. :)

/end rant.

(this rant of mine was also posted on my medium account.
https://medium.com/@forgottenwebs/rant-musings-on-sanity-and-the-fear-of-ourselves-f837d977122a )


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