Fear Is The Mindkiller

Fear Is The Mindkiller

Status: In Progress

Genre: Other

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Status: In Progress

Genre: Other

Houses:

Summary

This is my summer '17 project....I have designed it for my own amusement but I hope you will reap the benefits.
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Summary

This is my summer '17 project....I have designed it for my own amusement but I hope you will reap the benefits.

Chapter1 (v.1) - Lucid Dreams

Author Chapter Note

A brief back story...more to come.. in between whatever may come...

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: June 05, 2017

Reads: 50

Comments: 4

A A A | A A A

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: June 05, 2017

A A A

A A A

 

I can time travel in my mind, no other way to say it. I think I may hold the record for the "most passed along patient " . 

When I was very little, in elementary school, I broke out in tears everyday, always at the same time, no matter the same place. My teacher eventually would take notice of this pattern, anticipating the hands of the clock and that look my face. Day light savings didn't have an affect. Seating rearrangements meant nothing. Fools errands turned into missing student searches. I cowered , terrified, the pain unavoidable , without a corner to hide in or a place to run to. They always found me , brought me back, to live one more day and go through it all again, over and over. I saw things. They said it was all in my head. But to this day, unless my head is what I see 10 feet in front of me , clear as day, it wasn't in, it was out. It is as real as compassion; fleeting, painful, sorrowfully unconditional love. Honest and real.

Sometimes I shrunk. Overwhelmed. Other times I grew larger than my body appeared; could contain. Alice in Wonderland syndrome they called it. Everything has name. 

 Eventually they decided to send me to the school therapist. Not the school nurse. The nurse was there if you fell down during recess or an accident happened involving gym class or the pencil sharpener. Nope, we had a special place for special people who did special things. They didn't celebrate being different or special either;  they tried to minimalize it. Even now, when I look back on it years later, they never said anything about learning to control it or attempting to manifest it into something beautiful, creative or powerful. They were just mental splinter removers. Tweezer doctors. Never saying something was wrong with me, I have to credit to them for that, but they never said something was right with me either. That,  I had  to figure out on my own. This gift.

Gift. Pfft. Not so sure sometimes, other times it's a present I wish I hadn't opened.

If we are all the same animal with different stripes and spots, then why do they try to rearrange them for the goodness of others and not ourselves first?

 Anyways enough about that, that was almost 30 years ago. A lifetime. Enough time to develop. Shrink and grow. If I never learned to make myself , they surely would have made me into what they had wanted by now. I got out lucky. Others, well not so much. 

 So I do favors, so very easy for me to say now, like covering a shift at work or getting mental groceries; but, thats what I am good at, so I do it.  Because I can. I move from here to then. From now to soon, in between and beyond. 

Kiss my ass, flux capacitor.

You too the,rapists.

 

 " I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

Only I will remain. "

- Bene Gesserit,

( Dune 1965, Frank Herbert. )

 

Revealing it's time for a little spice in my life, someone smart suggested I talk to Mr. Herbert.

My report will be turned in within a week, if I ever come back. 

One of these days I hope I will stay in one place, it's tiring to be me.

 

 


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