OnStar My Uber

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Flash Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
It seems this Uber customer has a problem. His ride won't stop! --- What to do, what to do???

Submitted: June 06, 2017

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Submitted: June 06, 2017

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"OnStar! May I help you?"

"This is Greg Middleton and I certainly hope so!"

"What seems to be the problem sir?"

"I am in a Uber Driver-less car and it will not stop at my destination!"

"Has it been to your destination?"

"Of course, I just said that it won't stop there."

"Has it been to your destination more than once?"

"Yes, it keeps driving around in circles and when it reaches my stop it just keeps going."

"Hold on sir, let me connect you with Uber customer service."

 

"Uber customer service, this call may be monitored or recorded. For speeder service please have your Uber customer identification number ready, --- please hold."

(A Song, "Born Free", is playing. ...)

"All our lines are currently busy. Please stay on the line as your call is very important to us. ...

("Born Free" is playing. ...)

Please stay on the line as your call is very important to us. ...

(The Music starts again, but is cut off with an announcement.)

"Are you getting the service you deserve? Try Uber's new Preferred Customer Gold Services. One call arranges your pick-up, plane tickets, hotel reservations, and drop off at the hotel. The Platinum service can plan you entire trip, provide all transportation and furnish a guide. Just press seven for more information."

"Uber customer service, this is Jasmine. How can I help you?"

Hi, this is Greg Middleton, Uber number 667608211475. "I am in a Uber Driver-less car and it will not stop at my destination!"

"Has it been to your destination?"

"Yes, of course, I just told you that it won't stop there!"

"Has it been to your destination more than once?"

"Yes, it keeps driving in circles, around the same streets, and when it reaches my stop it just keeps going."

"Do you have time to exit the vehicle when it stops at an intersection?"

"What?!?"

"Do you have time to exit the vehicle when the vehicle stops at an intersection?"

"Hell no, it never fully stops! Every so many blocks the car makes right hand turns, I think it is timing the lights so it does not have to stop."

"Yes sir, it is in fuel-saving mode."

"Fuel saving, how can it save fuel if it won't stop?"

"You see sir, if the vehicle maintains a set speed, that allows gas mileage increa...

"I don't care about that! Can you stop this vehicle? That is what I want to know."

"Let me check sir, please hold."

("Born Free" is playing. ...)

"I am sorry sir. The problem is that the GPS connection is telling the vehicle's computer that it has passed the destination, in this case by only a few feet. The vehicle's computer is not programmed to back-up on such a busy street so it is circling to re-approach. However, this vehicle is equipped with a OnStar devise, they should be able to assist you. One moment please. ...

"NO!!!"

"OnStar! May I help you?"

"This is Greg Middleton, again, and I am still trapped in a Uber Driver-less car that will not stop at my destination. Uber customer service tells me that you, OnStar, can stop this vehicle. Is that right?"

"Let me check sir, please hold."

("Born Free" is playing. ...

"Sir, Mr. Middleton, sir, are you still there sir?"

"Yes, --- I'm still here."

Sir, I'm afraid the Uber representative was misinformed. OnStar can slow and stop certain vehicles with On*Star systems, but not autonomous driven vehicles.

Please hold while I connect you to the Uber Autonomous Vehicles Troubleshooting Department; Click."

 

("Born Free" is playing. ... While Mr. Middleton is sobbing and uttering unrecognizable words.)

 

"Hello, this is Charlie Hickum, Uber's ADV department tech on call. Who am I speaking to, please? --- Hello, is anyone there?"

"Sniff, snort, --- This is Greg Middleton, Uber number 667608211475. I am in a Uber Driver-less car and it will not stop at my destination. It has been to my destination more than once, but it keeps driving around in circles and when it reaches my stop it just keeps going."

"Tell me sir, do you see a Big Red Button inside the vehicle?

"Well crap! You mean the one on the steering wheel that says ("Emergency Stop") on it?"

"That is the one. Just wait until the vehicle gets close to your stop and push that button; it should pull over to the curb and stop."

"Thank you Charlie, I don't know why but I don't think that I would have ever noticed that button. You're a life saver."

"Don't mention it Mr. Middleton, you would be surprised at how often this happens."

"Well Charlie, it worked, the car just stopped. Thanks again; click."

 

"OnStar! May I help you?"

"This is Greg Middleton and I hope so."

"What seems to be the problem sir?"

"I am in a Uber Driver-less car and the doors won't unlock. I can't get out!"

"What is the vehicles access code sir. I can't unlock the doors without it."

(Mr. Middleton is heard sobbing and uttering unrecognizable words.)

 

 

 

D. Thurmond / JEF --- 06-05-2017


© Copyright 2017 D. Thurmond, aka, JEF. All rights reserved.

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