A Lost Soul

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic
Sam woke up to find himself in Heaven with his mother and unlocks the mystery of his life only to find out the memory he was trying to escape for so long.

Submitted: June 07, 2017

A A A | A A A

Submitted: June 07, 2017



A Lost Soul

“Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” - Marcus Aurelius



Sam woke up with a severe headache on a bed in a very small room, empty with no furniture except the bed he woke up on. It was so quiet that he could only hear the sound of the birds soaring outside the bay window facing the bed, with two sheer curtains drawn to the sides allowing for the sunlight to hit the room lighting it up. Sam moved towards the window as he saw the magnificent view this room overlooks; vast deep blue water flowing with a huge green mountain standing still behind. It was the only thing he could see when he leaned towards the bay window. Damn! This looks like heaven to me, he thought. As he got caught with this view, suddenly he heard things crackling, sound of plates clashing coming from outside the room. Someone is cooking?  Sam thought. He headed outside the room. Oh it’s coming from downstairs. Smells like sausage and eggs. He walked down the stairs slowly as his bare feet touches the first cold step of the stairs feeling anxious as he does not understand what is happening. He reached the bottom of the stairs, then he just stopped and stared as the first thing he saw was a modern open kitchen with a woman wearing a long white dress with a dark black long hair cooking sausage and fried eggs.

“Mo…Mom?” He said anxiously.

The woman looked back at him over her shoulders, “Good morning sweetheart”

“How is tha-“

“I-I…I know. Look at you all grown up and looking handsome!” She turned around while turning off the stove.

Sam stood still. Shocked.

“Come here give me a hug!” She said while moving towards him with her hands wide open. Sam walked towards her, and hugged her tightly, “I miss you so much mother. I just don’t under-“

She tapped on the back his shoulder to comfort him, “Shshsh…Sammy, I will explain. Don’t you worry! I have been looking after you this whole time.” She said.

She grabbed his hand, assisting him to sit at the table facing the stove, so they could eat the sausage and eggs she just cooked. His favourite. She sat at the table across Sam, folded her hands, laid back and looked at him, smiling as he stabbed the fork inside the hot sausage, and started eating.

“I have a really bad headache. I am confused. I just don’t understand how is-”

“Sweetheart, welcome to heaven. As bad as this may sound, but you are dead honey.”

Sam was about to put a little piece of the hot sausage with small piece of the sunny side up egg in his mouth while his hand unintentionally dropped the fork and so as his jaw. He stared at his mother shockingly. What? Dead? How? I don’t recall anything. How did I die? Is this the afterlife? But where is God? Sam thought.

She stood up hurrying to his side of the table, hugged him while tears started to stream down his face. She kept rubbing his back until he calmed down a bit, then she told him to go upstairs take a shower and change his clothes because she will take him out for a walk. He walked up the stairs to do what he was told, while hearing her “Honey, 16 years old young man like you should not cry; it’s a blessing to be in heaven instead of the cruel reality down on Earth!” Sam was walking up the stairs with a blank straight face, only blinked twice.  He could not process anything. Perplexed. Unable to even think about what was happening. She grabbed a newspaper, went out in the terrace facing the marvellous view Sam saw earlier, sat on the swing, laid her back carefully while lighting a cigarette and moving a small table with the ashtray on it. She exhaled the smoke creating a cloud of polluted smoke that disappeared in less than 10 seconds while closing her eyes. Her eyes then started to move through the pages in the newspaper. Her brain was bombarded with a huge burden she kept inside for a long time, and since her son is stuck with her now forever; she has to face him with it. Sam headed downstairs again calling for his mom inside until she called on him that she is sitting in the terrace; he went outside looked at the strange newspaper she was holding in her hands. She looked up at him, “Strange, ha?”

His head moved backwards with his eyes blinking, “Everything? Yes.”

“It’s a bit advanced newspaper that show you with pictures and videos what is happening on Earth, who is dead, and simply everything.”

“Hmmmm…” said Sam with his straight shocked face.

She laughed, “It’s funny to say that it’s called Earth Times. Sammy…It is shocking for me sometimes too. Sometimes I could not process the idea of living here.”

Sam’s eyes caught a cruel shocking headline written down on the newspaper, it reads ‘Mother Molesting Her Children’. He pointed at it and looked at his Mom. Her head turned towards him saying, “Strange ha? It’s about a woman who was killed by her husband, because she was molesting her children. He killed her, burned the house, rescued his children and made it look like an accident. Painful.”

“What’s wrong with the world?”

She nodded with a fearfully disgusted face saying, “It’s crazy, let’s talk about this while walking. Come on!” she walked down the aisle with vast gardens on both sides in front of the house towards the blue lake with the green mountain behind with Sam following her wandering how could she be so normal about this place or this new reality. They both sat at a bench in front of this breath-taking view, Sam took a cigarette from the pack and lighted it while she gave him a surprised look, but at the same time she already knew that he smokes.

“Sometimes I feel I’m too naïve or optimistic. I would never think that there are bad people like this mother. I believe they do what they did for some reason, not necessarily this reason is valid, but it just happens and we, as humans, do not think about our actions until we suffer the consequences.” Sam said after exhaling the smoke out of his mouth.  

“I agree, the lack of thought and reason are what allow a room for evil to exist. However, this does not mean that we should give people an excuse for an immoral or an evil act they have done, and say because they did not think before taking an action. Some people intentionally do a certain evil act to get what they want or because they think it’s their right. Sweetheart, evil for some people is satisfaction or pleasure.”

“How is that?”

“Some people find pleasure through pain; it depends on how people define pleasure. It also depends on how you define what is actually evil and what is good, since we are all different so it varies.” She took a deep breath, “Life is too complicated to understand or even understand humans.”

“I reached a point where I don’t know if I can trust the closest people around me or not? Will I ever know if they were fake or true to me?”

She stood up, took his hand and walked towards the shore of the lake. The surface waves moved back and forth seeping into their skins stealing the heat from their soles as fast as the wind steals the heat from the rest of their bodies. It’s cold, yet refreshing.

She bent down to pick up 2 rocks from the sand, while Sam stood still watching her, waiting for something to happen. She looked at him, smiled, and threw both rocks each one in a different direction. As both rocks hit the water at the same time; the splash of the water rose so high that both splashes clashed into each other forming a smooth still waterfall taking a shape of a screen as if someone is using a projector on a plain white wall. Sam’s heart started to beat fast as his jaw dropped watching such a miracle. Something he has never seen before. Well it’s heaven I should expect anything. He thought. She told him to be patient, as he will watch the reality down on Earth in a moment. The screen began to display his father, Adam driving the car on a highway with his mother, Lena next to him, and in the back sitting Sam with his sister, Layla. Adam was exceeding the speed limit, while Lena was crying to make him slow down. Unfortunately, Adam was too drunk to take control over anything with his glassy eyes, it was even hard for him to keep them open. He could not even control his temper; he kept shouting at Lena for telling him to slow down. Lena looked at Sam, “I was scared! It was a small tight two way road!” then they continued watching the screen. Out of the blue, a car stopped in the middle of the highway, while another car coming the opposite way. Adam was close to being on full speed. He would not be able to stop the car before crashing either into the back of a car in front of him or the face of the opposite car on the left side. Everyone in the car was screaming. He turned the wheels to the right, broke the fence and hit the sea.

Lena explained to Sam how this horrific accident affected the family adversely, because it was the reason for her death, and the reason Sam lost his memory. Sam couldn’t believe that he did not remember this. Lena elaborated that after they lost her, Sam was traumatized to the extent that he repressed most of his memories for the past few years that led him to lose his memory. After his father confronted him with the truth of the accident and Sam gained back his memory; Sam could not handle it so he got into a coma, and ascended finally to heaven. It was a shock to Sam. How could it be like that? He does not remember anything. Did the coma lead him to lose his memory again?

Followed by the latter incident, the screen switched to Dana, Sam’s girlfriend. She is sitting on a bench between the arms of a guy she used to like before she got with Sam. Tears started to stream down Sam’s cheeks as he watched her eyes fixated at that guy with a smile as if she is lost in a heavenly view. He also noticed a gift wrapped perfectly laying beside her on the bench. Sam’s eyes shifted to the side of his mother while becoming glazed with a glassy layer of tears. Lena rubbed his head to comfort him and as he blinked, the tears dripped from his eyelids all the way down his cheeks. His lips closed tightly pushing each other the opposite sides to hide any sound that could escape from his mouth. The problem is that the latter was happening as Sam and Lena were watching.

The screen shifted quickly to his sister, Layla who is sitting on her bed crossing her legs with Sam’s picture between her arms and the tears flowing down her face, dripping one by one on the picture. “Oh my poor girl. She loves you so much Sammy.” Lena said while hugging Sam. The screen suddenly switched to Jack, his best friend who is sitting on the roof of his house, swinging his legs, looking around watching the moon and the stars, and tears drip one by one all the way down to his ingrown beard. “He looks lost. He is never like that.” Sam said in a calm trembling voice. “My dear he just misses you!” Said Lena.

As the screen switched, Sam told his mother that he does not want to watch anymore but she convinced him to wait, as it is the last one, so they would talk about it all afterwards. A poor guy with a heavy beard opening the door of his apartment as it cracks; he enters with two bags full of beers and a cigarette in his mouth. He sits down on the couch while offering his young son a cigarette who looks like he is 13 years old. “It’s Billy!! Oh my God! Why is he doing that to himself and his son! I thought he took the money to buy a medicine and food to his son!” Sam shouted fiercely. “Sammy! Calm down. Let’s go. Enough of this.” She grabbed him from his hands and walked back towards the house. As they left the shore, the screen quickly dropped hitting the water producing fast surface waves that moved towards the sand.

As they entered the house Lena said, “Sweetheart, I don’t want this to get to you.”

“How is that even possible?”

“It’s the truth Sam! The truth is always harsh. If only I was still alive I would have taught you to be a strong man, not a naïve young boy. You cannot do anything about it anyways, you’re dead.”

Sam walked towards the stairs without saying a word, his head looking towards the ground while tears streamed down his cheeks and quickly falling all the way down hitting the floor. Splashed.

“Where are you going? Am I not talking to you?”

“I’m going upstairs for a bit. Am I not allowed to have a sole moment in heaven?”

“What’s the matt-”

“Where the hell is God? Is this some kind of a joke? Where are the things written in our sacred texts?!”

“You’re unbelievable! Go upstairs!” Lena shouted as she walked out to the terrace to smoke a cigarette.

Sam went upstairs to the bathroom, before he steps inside, he saw a glimpse of a girl in his room walked by quickly calling his name very quietly “Sammy!” He walked towards her but could not find anyone, only a note on the bed. He picked up the note, it says “She is lying. Ask her for the truth.” Sam got startled. Scared. He began to doubt everything he saw, because he already doubted it as he was watching it. But why would his mother lie? Why lie in heaven? He went downstairs showing her the note and demanding for answers. “Are you crazy?” Lena reacted with her eyes wide open staring at Sam. Sam took a step back. Blinked twice. Took a big gulp. Lena asserted that she could not lie, and unfortunately he has no option but to believe her. He cannot go down to Earth; because this is the ultimate place anyone can reach. There is no going back. Sam quietly said that he is going for a walk; Lena grabbed his hand, stopped him and she pressed hard on it. “No one is going anywhere. It’s better to sleep.” He ran quickly to his room and locked the door. As he sat on the bed his eyes caught a note on the desk; he walked towards it, picked it up, and read, “Meet me at the roof. Climb it from your window.”

He climbed up to the roof as he saw a silhouette of a girl standing at the other end, as she stepped into the light, he asked “Layla? How?” She stood still at the other end from him, and none of them moved closer to one another. “Sammy, just run away from her. She is a monster. Papa is innocent.” Sam stammered “W-w-what? I-I-I don’t understand!”

“You really lost your memory in an accident, ask her! Ask her about the fire accident! She is lying!” as Layla said that Sam walked closer to her. But she took a few steps back and fell off the roof. Sam hurriedly ran towards her to catch her but he couldn’t. He looked down for her, but he didn’t find anything. She disappeared. He started to doubt everything. What if this was a dream? What if all of this is untrue? He knows his girlfriend very well; Dana would never cheat on him. He knows his dad. Even poor Billy! Although he cannot recall what happened but what he saw made sense; because Adam is actually an alcoholic.

As he got back to his room wandering around, feeling lost, perplexed and scared. He stumbled upon another note on his desk, “Aim for the heart if you want to escape.” It’s tempting. However, where would he go after heaven? Is there a better place? Can I even do that? Sam asked himself.

He went downstairs and decided to confront his mother. “Ma! You’re lying. What about the fire accident? Layla told me everything!”

“Why didn’t you ask Layla?”

“She disappeared. I could not catch her.”

“Well, sweetheart…take another nap and you might catch her!”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re accusing me of lying! How could someone lie in heaven? I told you! You are a crazy naïve boy who believes anything he hears. What about those notes? Show them to me!” Lena shouted. The last words echoed. Sam searched his pockets but could not find the notes. He ran upstairs and searched the room. Still nothing. How come? Sam was flabbergasted. As Sam went downstairs, looking at the floor and could not even look up to his mother, she shouted furiously at him again for not believing her. As she was yelling his eyes caught a knife on the table he had breakfast on earlier. He linked it with the note that said Aim for the heart, he sighed at it for a bit. It’s either going to be her or me. Sam thought.

As he made his choice, he ran towards it and held it in his hands. Shaking. Frightened. Lena stared at him. Astonished. She told him calmly to put this knife down. She told him that this will never happen as he is stuck here with her forever. He made his choice. He ran towards her holding the knife up high. Lena screamed and as he approached her she held his hand quiet hard. She grabbed the knife from his hand and laid it down on the table. Sam was on the floor. Trembling with his lips closed tightly attempting to make a sound but he just can’t.  “Now honey, go have a good night sleep. We’re spending eternity together. It’s been a while since I had you for me.”  Lena said in a very smooth quiet voice. A weight have been lifted off Sam’s chest, thankfully she would not hurt him. He sensed something is strange about her. He hastily ran upstairs locked himself, until its past midnight. Sam sneaked down stairs to grab the knife and aim for his heart, while he heard a door opens. It’s her. He quickly put the knife inside his pants and brought a bottle of water. He took it with him upstairs as if he was thirsty; he found her coming to his room, she told him, “I want to sleep next to you and apologize for my unacceptable behavior earlier.”

Sam nodded as he took a big gulp. It’s so quiet that the only sound one could hear is Sam’s gulp. They both get under the blanket on the bed. She told him to come between her arms, he rested his head on her left arm that surrounded his neck; she then started to play with her fingers on his face. He started to put his left hand on the knife, taking it out slowly from his pants and under his butt so she could not see it. Lena’s other hand started to rub his chest softly. He asked her to sing for him his childhood song, because he does not recall it. she started singing,

Ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh


Somewhere over the rainbow

Way up high

And the dreams that you dream of

Once in a lullaby


Somewhere over the rainbow

Bluebirds fly

And the dreams that you dream of

Dreams really do come true


As she kept on singing her hand with her fingers rubbing his chest started to move very softly and smoothly all the way down to his stomach. Passed the belly button. Slowly seeped her hands inside his pants and again seeped below his underwear, making her way to his genital organ. She started stroking. Sam’s eyes stared wide open, his body trembled, he tried to scream or say something, but the inside of his mouth lacked any moisture and a croak was all that issued from his gape. Sam laid the knife on his heart, he hoped its the right place, while tears started to stream down his face, and she was kissing his cheeks, moving slowly towards his lips, comforting him not to cry. He rigidly stabbed the knife into his skin hoping it was the heart. His eyes closed inevitably. He could not feel anything anymore.

Someday, I wish upon a star

Wake up where the clouds are far behind me

Where trouble melts like lemon drops

High above the chimney top

That's where you'll find me


Sam hears the rest of the song as he abruptly opened his eyes and all he sees is a white ceiling. Am I still with her? Then he hears several voices singing the song, something was on his mouth helping him breathe faster and better, an oxygen tube? Hospital? He opens his eyes widely enough to see who’s around, he finds his father, Billy with flowers, Dana with the perfectly wrapped gift lying behind her on the table. They all smiled while breathing lightly as if their chests were trapped tightly and finally they are free. “Welcome back, you seemed to have liked the coma so much.” Dana said while holding his hand from one side and Adam holding it from the other side. Someone is missing. Sam thought to himself. Suddenly, Layla walked in the room wearing the hospital gown with a nurse holding her hands to walk her through. Sam smiled with his lips tightly shut; he could not move, talk or even do any gestures. His body is relaxed. Hope beads his skin like dew on spring grass. He could feel it radiating in to soothe his blood. He is unsure that this is the right decision, but it feels right. He feels optimistic as he always did. His head started to revolve thinking about, whether this was a dream? Was it a glimpse of hell or heaven? Was it any true? He started to think about where does the truth lies? He thought that you can never learn the truth, until you meet God, which he still did not meet. He kept wandering how did Layla show up at his mother’s? Was she in a coma too? Was she the reason why I’m back? Was it all a dream?














© Copyright 2019 Omar Oraby. All rights reserved.

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