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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is about the past and what is going on today. It seems as though I grew and became happy. Then I went down the rollercoaster, though still progressing, I dropped the happiness I found within myself and I have to find that again, while still learning. I'll find complete happiness one day. :)

Submitted: June 08, 2017

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Submitted: June 08, 2017





There was this strong self-hate

It lasted about two years

It put me in a depressed state

In the bathroom full of tears


It consisted of my looks

Always putting myself down

The depression always took

My smile, it always turned into a frown


The heartbreaks, the sadness, the pain and the sorrow

Had me always dying inside

It made me think of ending the chances of tomorrow

Thinking of precious suicide


The evil thoughts roamed in my head

Tearing me down, tearing my wretched soul apart

Wishing I could just be dead

How could this happen to such a sweetheart


Physical pain I was willing to trade

To temporarily help with the emotional pain

Ripping my skin with a metal blade

But nothing from it, I would gain.


Self-love is something I needed

To help with this long lasting hurt

Cutting wasn’t the one that succeeded

But the self-acceptance of this ambivert


Told myself everyday

Even though I couldn’t see it

After I showered in the mirror I’d say

“You are so beautiful” and it gave me some spirit


I learned to love the angles I hated

My head shape is far from the normal form

A zero out of ten is what it is rated

It is too big and I think it is sort of deformed


I learned to love myself for my sexual preferences

Something that shouldn’t have been learned

But just because of my personal differences

An open mind is something that I gladly earned


The personal hate that caused me to bleed

And the negative thoughts that were so very vile

Were not given food to feed

So they went away and I was purely happy for awhile


But now they still come now and then

The negative thoughts surround my mind

Destroying my self-esteem within

I can never leave the sadness behind


I know I have to go through the same process

To find the self-love and self-acceptance that fell

Maybe I’ll learn more skills and gain some more progress

To fill the confidence within me very well.



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