That Darn Little Shadow Girl She Is So Clever

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
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Submitted: June 10, 2017

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Submitted: June 10, 2017

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That Darn Little Shadow Girl She Is So Clever

Shadow Girl and Light Girl knew how to get at me, so they poisoned the beer!  Ack, all of this luxury around for a million miles and I didn't want to learn I wanted to eat!  So Little Shadow Girl what are your plans for me?  I remember the day that I was struck by this position of luxury and truly learned by my elders how warfare was ... everything that I grabbed off of the shelf was poisoned! I could have been in there for days, eating and eating, all of it poisoned though, I would slowly die of my starvation my brain feeling as if it were in a microwave.  But I still love this little Shadow Girl and her little Light Girl Friend.  At first I thought that they were enemies but then I understood that they had a job to do.  They were sent to guide me, and Light Girl she pointed at me I seen it, although as I have told you I do prefer her shadows.  She lifted up her left hand slowly as if I was going to get shot and then I just ran away.
"Gosh that was rude." I said even though I was naive and should have tried to make out with her.
All of this food, and it was poisoned.  I remember sitting on the stoop of the mini-mall and seeing this large camera reflected onto the store, it was a shadow, if I only knew that it could have been little Shadow Girl and another one of her goons setting me up.  So I must tell you again that I fell in love with Shadow Girl as soon as I laid eye's on her ... of course she didn't really meet me under the best of circumstances, it was a fight with the Parent's.  There I was in my room when Shadow Girl all of a sudden slinked or sprinted as you will around the corner and held my Dad at knife point with her little shadow pen-knife, she looked at me with her red lips all aglo like the most sweetest sensitive passionate kiss and then she winked at me and slid right back into the shadow of the bathroom wall.  She actually just blended right into the shadow because I guess that is where she makes her home.  So as I have told you before if you see me all wondering, wondering around in the shadow's, I am prob just lookin' for sexy Lil' Shadow Girl, yeah I think that I will call her that.
So she must have been the one that poisoned the beer, either her or Light Girl and I am sure that it was one of them all though I don't want to point any fingers or anything.  Shadow Girl poisoned the beer, and as you would be assured as much that I love America I still drank it, the poisoned beer but don't get me wrong I mean I love the beer now that it's back to not being poisoned but I was at a really hard time in my life back then ... if you could imagine I mean I even got a toothbrush with a bad flavor and that is not to mention the broccoli that had little pieces of the computer factory in them, bone I am sure, not to get so nasty, so I will tell you about that and the water at the mental institution that was laced with the lubricants for sexing.  This sounds bad but I am assuredly just here to let you know that the answer to all of this is that you don't feel like harming yourself and that if you get asked to take a tour of a computer plant you shouldn't go because they might just try to turn you into a computer while you are there and then what, back to drinking the poison!
So I am sure that many a people have gone missing in these computer plants but I will just let you know that some of this could be taken as a joke.  I mean who has ever heard of humans being turned into computers and all of that crazy stuff all so that prices keep going lower or so that they can throw some more bones into your broccoli.  So, as you know, since my door is always open and e-mail probably scared the shit out of my Grandparent's I will try my best to provide my friends with  beer that isn't poison and water that is good if you prefer over the other and all of the food has been really good for quite some time now. Thank you Elders!
What a game it was though, to know that even my toothbrush was poisoned, they must have known that I was partial to the colors of the Red White and Blue in selection of the finest brushah!  And while we are at it that is about the most fun that you can have when you are in a mental institution, going to the clerk and asking for a brand new brushah whenever you like so that you can clean you teeth.
So I guess that this is just another love note to Shadow Girl as I did prefer her to Light Girl a lil' bit, but don't get me wrong I don't want to sound like a person of shallow taste when I describe Light Girl as one of the most elegant night dweller's that I have ever seen.  Just that Shadow Girl got me where it really hurt, the pen-knife, all of this and I feel great, at least I can tell you of the tale of the precautionary tale of the "poisoning of the food and all".  So I was reading though, because I can, actually I can read even though I just mumble in this weird English Verse, and I was reading that I could possibly be challenged as according to the strengths of the elders and what have they seen and unseen before them.  So I lived to tell the tale of the shaking in the bed and the cold sweats and the poisoning of the food that we all must deal with at some point in our lives?  I did it for you!  So that you would be prepared ... and so that you would know that if you need some nice place to go to I do have and own as I am ever so proud a six-person tent that can do you well enough.  I imaginged some great concert that would be here when you showed up and I even tried to plant some Joshua Tree's for you although they didn't quite make it because I do not have a green thumb.  Or well it did say that I should germinate the seed's that I purchased online before throwing them in the dirt, very affordable I might add from one of your local vendors.
So now that the economy is doing great I think that it is time for me to retire ... perhaps go back to dreaming about Shadow Girl and how she flies and what it is like to be with her.  As of the most recent light there will be no concert unless you bring the instrument's or you can borrow my recorder and perhaps we can learn together this magical place and all that a six-person tent has to offer, also purchased at a brick and mortar store that was very affordable.
So I guess that I learned only to eat the food that my Girlfriend brings me ... I mean if she want's me to die I'm fucked anyways right.
What a compliment though and I will take it as is that my food could be so poisoned that even the shoppers around, although I am freaking paranoid were just watching this little one take the food from the shelf.  He he he, we know that he likes croissants, we'll get him in the bread isle for sure!
I love you Shadow Girl!  Light Girl I love you just I think that I will burn up in the sun if I touch you so I am gonna stick to the shadow's and all with my Lil' Girl Shadow, she is the only mistress for me, but how will I tell my Girlfriend that I have another love, the shadow's ... and her beautiful red lips, and her cute lil' wink.  He he he, we'll get him this time in the beer isle, he'll never quit drinking and then we'll bust out that microwave from space that we all love.  
I could see right through her eye when she winked at me as that is what the Lil' Shadow Girl Loves to do blend into her surroundings.
I guess now is as good a time as any to address this whole quality food issue that I faced and all of the pills that I was probably just losing to ... Oh well I don't know but I think that this is a good story and I am so happy to share.  If anyone has any suggestions on high quality Shadow Girl traps, perhaps a net gun or something I am open to it.  And now I know that if you poison my food I will just be stronger for it and will only eat from my Girlfriend, ya' know the real one, even though I have a crush on Shadow Girl.  Guess I will have to tell my friend that I am interested in her and only one other on the face of the Earth.
Just say it ... Shadow Girl, and you might fall in love and good eating to you as well my friend.
Oh and by the way all of this is true, so if you happen to be lonely and see a Lil' Shadow Girl around or her friend Lil' Mrs. Light Girl, go ahead and give them a tackle or perhaps just lay on the ground and wait for them to make a move, you might thank me later.
So all of this is true you say?  Yes, darn-it, how could I even think of poisoning beer!

 


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