if Only Now

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Religion and Spirituality  |  House: Booksie Classic
Being in the know that life is a cycle and everthing is always in constant motion , to stop, to exsist in the moment of nothingness with no purpose or will.. Will that be the moment of Now

Submitted: June 10, 2017

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Submitted: June 10, 2017

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I noticed that I felt this way yesterday. A feeling I refuse to feel today. The agony of knowing that it might never go away. The fear of not knowing what will transpire you allowed to stay. I love the same way I hate. The same energy frequency directed in an opposite emotion. Both temporary , equal divisions of me. Round and Round Side by side , Up & down The same problems always waiting on something for something or someone. Guilt clouds compassion Revenge fuels ambition. Being in the know that everything is always in constant motion only leaves me floating more confused than before Before I knew less was more before I noticed the fog in the window or the smoke in the mirror. When the illusion was real and the picture was clearer. But that was yesterday before I got stuck in the maze before I noticed the loopholes in booby traps The overlapping timelines & history gaps I got so anger when it was revealed to me The horror I'd searched for the mystery. Those things are no longer exciting the light codes are no longer thrilling enough to want to stay If in return I get the suffering for not being able to play. Today , I don't want to think I don't want to know I don't want to be I want to observe I want to see If only for one moment , I could silence the riddles and metaphors Close the books and open the doors. If only today we could blind into normality pretending there is a norm to this insanity. And those who held the key before me Those who were lead the crossroads and decided to chose, to win on earth. Than to suffer and lose Here I am The Least One Giving the gift to bury everything that happened under the Sun until its Dunn. Done Dan's friend Mother , Father Hidden Hand. Why must I believe in that I do not see. While not honoring the things that could immediatly recuse me. Then the savings gone In the end theres only one According to the Song... It's clever and witty once you understand but it's no laughing matter when you're on the center stage instead of the stands. Of all these sacrifices , day in and day out what am I not seeing repeating it over & over again what am I not being When does she have rest on planes or plain. If only Now can I know how it feels to not have to.


© Copyright 2017 Shretha Bell. All rights reserved.

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