Paris, you've ruined me

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: June 11, 2017

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Submitted: June 11, 2017

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Paris, you took my heart. I don't know when. I don't know how. And maybe that's why I feel no need for a physical love because I'm already satisfied with you. If anything you've made the idea of a relationship appear more unappealing to me than it did before. To think I only have five more weeks with you... It's depressing really. The idea of going home brings tears to my eyes and not in the happy way it gave me when I first arrived and I just wanted to go back home. Man, I couldn't wait to go home. Was life more simple then? The more naive me who never tasted culture. Who was oblivious to this beautiful world. Is it better not knowing these things for when they are taken from you it doesn't cause pain? Because, what's that saying? All good things must come to an end? I do trust God has a plan for me. That he'll continue to open doors for me as he has. But I'm scared not knowing what's on the other side of the door. I'm afraid it'll be the pitiful routine I used to call my life. Sleep, wake up, work, go back to sleep, repeat and I won't find another way back out. Like a broken record with no hand there to stop me. Shouldn't our lives be so much more than this? We are only on this earth for a short time. Why do we feel obliged to follow this pursuit and the things we think of as "obligations"? The thought of seeing more of the world and meeting new people gives me a kind of nostalgia I've never felt before. So I ask you again. Was my life better before? Before, when I didn't know the relationship I truly desired was with this beautiful world. What else can I answer with besides; Paris, you've ruined me.


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