Today I'm Alone

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Love makes you do horrifying things.

Submitted: June 12, 2017

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Submitted: June 12, 2017

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It was the last day of the month. The day before Halloween. Darkness fell on the ground, so did the rain. Fallen leaves looked shiny under my feet as I walked to my front porch, and sat down on the highest step. I looked at the sky, trying to count those stars. I saw my own breath as a white fog front  of me. It was freezing outside. As I was sitting there, I realized lot of things had changed. The white fence wasn't white anymore, the apple tree on our yard had grown out way too big it had to be cut down, leaving an ugly stump.

 

I wish you didn't have to leave.

 

I sighed and walked into the house. I looked around and saw a picture of us on the living room coffee table. I took it into my hand and memorised every detail of it. It was 6 years old, it was your 30th birthday. You were holding a beer bottle, I was trying to steal a kiss from you. I bit my teeth. The picture was giving me headache. I put the old memory down, back where it belonged. 

 

Did I deserve this pain?

 

I wasn't unfaithful. I was loyal. I tried to save the world, I tried to save you. Maybe the old saying is right, bad things happen to good people. I watched out of the window. I saw the dead grass and a shovel middle of the yard. I turned my face down, seeing my dirty hands. I quickly wiped them onto my pants and looked away, swallowing the becoming tears. 

 

Why did it have to be me?

 

Suddenly, I felt angry. I was angry at you. Why? I wasn't sure. It wasn't my job to do it. Or was it? I am so confused. I kicked the coffee table around, roughly running my hands through my hair. I released couple tears, but wiped them off.

"Get your shit together" I grunted at myself, starting to clean up the mess I did. I saw the picture frame, the glass had gone broken.

"'m sorry" I whispered, taking the picture out from the frame.  

I walked to the kitchen, forgetting what had happened.

 

"Just do it" you said to me. "Please, I love you. Do it"

I cried. "No, I can't" dropping my hand down, but still holding the gun. 

"I'm sick, darlin'. It's okay" you tried to convince me, holding my hand and the gun. Your body was shaking, your dangerously pale skin looked even worse. You had tears in your eyes, that were surrounded by large dark black circles.

I nodded. You gave me the gun again. I pulled the trigger.

 

I killed you. I killed the only person I had ever loved, and oh boy, I loved you lots. It felt unreal. But I guess this is how it was supposed to go. You get cancer, you make me kill you and I do it. The gun was still on the table and I heard the police ringing their sirens. They were going to get me.

I held the picture of us in my hand as I grabbed the gun. This was meant to be. I heard someone kick the door open.

"Drop your weapon!" they shouted.

"The body is buried next to the apple tree" I said with the calm voice I had. I didn't look at the police. 

"I said, drop your weapon! Now!" they kept shouting.

I turned around around. There was two police men pointing their guns at me. "No" I said.

I loaded the gun. The faces on the police officers changed and they feared what I'd do. I had my gun, the one I already used. I pointed it against my head, I gripped the picture even harder in my hand so hard it hurt my palm.

 

Darkness took over.

 

Silence.


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