Friendship: truth or myth?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
Is there real friendship? Are your friends happy when you are happy and sad when you are sad or vice versa?

Submitted: June 12, 2017

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Submitted: June 12, 2017

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Friendship: Truth or myth?

It’s somehow funny, when you think about life and its games. Sometimes you feel like you have everything and you smile and you feel complete and you say you are happy and you mean it. And in the next moment you feel empty and lost and need to talk to somebody. That’s when you need a friend. A real friend. A friend who truly loves you for who you are and doesn’t judge. A friend who is happy when you are happy and sad when you are sad. I always say that I have found this one friend, but I always end up disappointed. I can’t say I’m alone, but sometimes I’m jealous of these friends who have known each other for many years and they have a sister or a brother from other parents. I don’t know if it’s me or if people are the worst. The question is: can you really trust another person, besides your family.

When I was new at school, I felt kind of lonely, because I didn’t know anyone. That’s when we started hanging out with Helen (the name isn’t real). She seemed somehow lonely as well, although she knew everyone in class for over five years. At first, she was so nice and kind and we became friends really quickly. Unfortunately, she was unbearably spoiled and she couldn’t take no for an answer. After many fights, we got estranged and I ended up having a new friend, I barely talked to since the day I got to school, Kate (yes, the name isn’t real). We ended up becoming friends because we both had serious problems with Helen. I didn’t realize it, but I suddenly had a friend next to me who loved me. Our best selfie was her background in her mobile phone, she kept hugging me and telling me how much she loved me, we had fun and some people even thought we were a couple, because we both didn’t have boyfriends before. Despite all this affection, I still believe she was jealous of me. She kept telling me how beautiful I am and how perfect my life was. She had many problems at home and I was always there for her. Whenever she needed a shoulder to cry on and a person to talk to. In fact, I became her scapegoat. Every time she was in a bad mood, she kept judging me and telling me that I will never understand her situation, because my life was “perfect” and she had problems no one could ever imagine. One of her main problems was dealing with the fact that she had a crush on the most unpopular and weird child at school. This problem became her whole life. On the one hand, she hated him and she was complaining that he haunted her life, because they used to hang out together and the others thought they were a couple. On the other hand, he was such a great guy and she enjoyed talking to him. For over a year I tried to understand what the fuck was wrong with her and why she acted so weird. Unfortunately, I can’t express this paranoia in this article. Everything was normal. She kept complaining about him, I kept listening to her this went on and on and on until Jim (yes, made up name) entered in my life. From nowhere. He had a crush on me and he made me have a crush on him as well. Although we couldn’t be together, for some reasons, we were happy we had met each other, because we really liked each other. Two nerds with glasses who had the same taste in music, movies, series and sports. At first, Kate was making fun of us and told us that we would make a really cute couple and he is such a great guy. And the truth is that I couldn’t stop talking about him and thinking about him. Until one day, when she told me that I had to choose between him and her, because they had a ridiculous fight and she couldn’t spend another break with him. I explained to him and he was more than understanding. I somehow chose her, because I was her only friend, but I knew I was making a huge mistake. Jim was going to study abroad and we somehow lost touch. He, Hannah (another friend and class mate) and Mark (Hannah’s boyfriend and Jim’s best friend) hated Kate for doing this, because they knew that I wanted to choose Jim but Kate would end up all alone. The truth is, that Hannah and I got closer, because she knew Jim better and she was more understanding when it came to him. Besides, one day, when I told Kate about Jim, she started gossiping about him with another boy from her class. A month ago, Kate told me that I was selfish, that Jim had changed me and that I prefer hanging out with other people rather than her. She even told me that I never truly helped her and that I left her alone during one break, when I wanted to give Jim some notes. The problem is, that Jim was expecting me every fucking day in the library although he knew it was difficult for me to come, I spent every day with her listening to the same shit all over again and as it turns out she didn’t appreciate the fact, that I was ignoring the guy I liked and liked me for her. In the next morning, she told me she was drunk (although she never drinks and hated alcohol) and that she didn’t mean the things she said, although later on, she clearly said that she had a problem with the whole Jim story. And that was the end. I was fed up. I heard every day the same old story, every problem about every grandfather with whores who wanted their heritage. My problem might have been less important, but I was a bitch to an amazing person who lives 2000km away right now. They say sisters before misters, but that was bullshit. For the first time, I said what I wanted to say all along and it felt so damn good. Now I have lost a friend. But she wasn’t a real one because she made me choose between her and Jim. I’m such an idiot I put up with this situation, and I don’t know if that’s the reason Jim and I are estranged. However, I saw what was fair and right. I never said what I wanted, because I was too afraid and I didn’t want to make her sad. It was about time to think about myself. It’s not selfish. It's human nature. She pushed all her friends away, including me. This dilemma was bothering me for a long time, but when I realized I was mean to Jim for nothing, I’ve decided to “rebel”. Now I’m so relieved. Hannah and I are really close and we talk every day. Her best friend as well. But it’s only a matter of time, for something to happen and tear us apart. Even if I could forgive Kate, I feel that the fact that she has lost me is a way of vindication, who was right from the beginning. “If she wants you to choose between me and her, she’s not a real friend and you should rethink your friendship”. I don’t know what happens in the future. But I won’t allow anyone, not even the person I love the most in the world, to make me choose. The thing is that I really thought of her a friend and she disappointed me. Will I ever be able to trust anyone after this? I have many friends and I have a great time. But there is a gap for a real friend. Some say she was jealous, because she never had even a fling before. Some say she was just too afraid of losing me. Some say she was obsessed with me. Some say she needs a cock to stop being so grumpy all the time. But we all say the same thing. She acted like a child and she pushed everyone away.


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