Branched (Pt.1)

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
My life is not same as yours, but our stories share common sense

Submitted: June 13, 2017

A A A | A A A

Submitted: June 13, 2017

A A A

A A A


"You're must be better than everyone else!" "I'm not expecting you to be a Doctor or Professor, but, you're dissapointing me!" "Hey, what are you doing loser? Not good enough in competition? Hahaha!" "Hey! Come over here! Let me hear those brokenhearted moment!"

..........And that's not all of the word that i always heard in my everyday life. I just a student. Yeah, a student. What do you expect from student? Smart? Intelegence? Geek? Weird? All share same thing. And the day of the graduation, i cannot feel myself escape from those web of the lies. Entangled inside those web and the word just litteraly slowly consume me, bit by bit. If you say i'm a smart person ; No, i'm not a smart person. My math is really bad. Geek? No, my interest is not book anymore.What do you expect from student? They're just a human.

And that word is the thing that engraved in my mind. Everyday just stare into a blank space, thinking those word that flying around in my head. Those word is really mean a lot to me, but also really made me disturbed. Graduate from Senior High School doesn't mean i'm free. Life is just really wating me in other side of the road, ready to stop or maybe boost me up. Also, i always really just hang my hope, like a letter waiting to be picked from a lot of letter lying around. And what i was do, is just that, i'm such a fool, isn't? 

Not even enough of that, even i competing myself, like "You must do this but don't do that in this way!" "But think about the risk of having this! Remember your parent and friends advice!" "Why you care about that?! Just do that!" "No, please, don't do it!", yeah.....my demon and my angel is always competing inside of me and for some reason, i cannot leave that by myself, but at the same time, i want to take the half of their voice and make a new road, but then, my mind clashed. And, the voice will never be sound same again.

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Thinking of today, i start my activity in 8am. The feeling of the warmth of the sun didn't make it through my window. The sky looks like speaking to me that today is not going to be a good day, because the weather is very cloudy, the dark cloud just hanging in the sky. The atmosphere of the day also for me, is not feel really well. But thinking of myself just shut myself in the "Jail" everyday, i decide to go outside. Then, i rode my bicycle and start cycling around. As i expected, people rarely come out today, just a few of them. But, strangely, they didn't sad about anything, just smile and do their activity. Like, are they crazy? Do they didn't even think of today? Are they didn't care about today? But, i didn't think far of that because it will just overfill my brain more than before. 

I rode my bicycle to the park, as i expected, empty. No single people appear in the park. For me, this is a perfect opportunity for relief myself. The park is not a big park, there's just 1 area that resemble like little house for relax, 2 slides and a little garden. The park is quite far from the road, so it was a perfect spot for me. But, the park has been abadoned. Even if the weather is fine, the people who came here still not a lot of people, just people who live near the park. 

I lay down in the blanket of grass, and let them comfort me. Staring into the deep dark sky. I also thinking of my mind, messing around of my thinking and just like mashing around and clashing around. Then, 1 people come into the park. And i start thinking, "Great, a person come to ruin the atmosphere". I look at the person for few second and then just turn my face away from him. After that, he just sitting in the grass, beside me. But, i just keep staring into the sky and didn't care of him beside me. 

A long silent aired in the air. Wind just blew his breath. Leaf just gliding in the air. And grass, just dancing around, following the wind direction. The sound of the grass collide with the wind is just what can make me really calm right now. 

Not long after that, i saw someone enter the park. He just looking around him then walked, but little by little. But, i don't bother that person. I just minding my own business. Then, he sat next to me. The tounge tell me to talk, but, my mind didn't want to say anything, just remain silen. Then, it just a long, quiet dead silent. The sky still pitch black, the bird start to fly away, and the wind start blow even harder than before.

Then, suddenly, he broke the silent "Hi......" "Hi" "What...a...re...you...doing...here?" "Does that mind you this time or just asking me just to know that?" "........." "If that's the question, mind your own business". He speak, haltingly. He like have some experience that make him like this. But, why he asked me about that? Like, just do what you do if you just asked about what i'm doing.

Then, he continued to speak, "Well.....a.re....yo...u...sad....or...an...gry?" "I'm not" "Really?" "If that's my answer, why you question me again?" "You...look....de..pressed..." "No, i'm not". After that, i turn my face away from him. 

I let my thought fly again, and start thinking about what actually happened to him exactly. Because he talk haltingly, i can expect that he has incident that involve with conversation. Also, his way of talk and the contect of it, it just really bland for me, so i can expect that his mind has been crushed by something.

"I....ha...ve....ex.per..ience....that....i..di..dn't...want.....to.....ha...ppen...to...anyone....." "......" "I....was......a...troll.....and....bully......in real.....wo..rld...and...in..internet....i really....like...to...offend....mock....troll....hurt....other..people....and...one...day...someone...start...arguing...to..me...and...after...that..a..lot..of...people...in....internet...just...start...to...strike...me..back..and...cannot...cope....the...fe...el...also....it..happened....in...real..wor..ld...too"

I'm not surprised after hearing that. He just really like me, just i'm not a person who like to bully or troll or anything like that, i just take it in, hear people say that to me or read that, and just forget it just like a wind past my mind. But,i think this person is really different than me, even though, we has something same in each other.

After that, i start to walk away from him, "Do...you...want...to....leave?" "Yeah, why? Is that a problem to you?" "..N..no.." "Then why you asked me? Do you just need someone to become your shield?" "...." "Hey, what has been happened, just let it happened. Forget that. Past is something you didn't want to cope. Also, why do you didn't think with your brain? Where is your "common sense"? If you didn't think anything first, you're just a forgetful human. Your desire, is just a fake reality" 

After that, he just stoned there and the sky start to rain, lightly. And i leave the park, when he just standing there, regret what he done before


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