You make me wanna die

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Love can be unhealthy.

Submitted: June 14, 2017

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Submitted: June 14, 2017

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Every time I see you I fall in love again. But you make me wanna die. I hate the fact you make me laugh when I am supposed to cry. But I love you, I love you, I love you. It's a warm feeling inside of me when I look at your face, but when I try to communicate with you all I can feel is ice cold blood inside my veins.

It's unhealthy, I know we are not good together. I remember things wrong. It's like mandela effect. I remember you only made me feel good but the truth is you made me suffer day after day. But I can't remember it happening. I don't remember you hurting me. But when I try to remember and when I know I'm not dreaming, when I know your fist made contact with my skin, it hurts.

Life never goes as planned, you weren't supposed to hurt me. You made heaven a bleeding hell and I thought it was love. But this love will tear me apart. I hate you because you make me feel safe. Because you make me feel loved. You make me feel needed. Because you make me feel like I can change the world. I hate you because I love you. You make me feel like everything will be alright.

I don't know why. You don't love me back. You use me and you make me wanna die. Do you even care about me? Why do you stay with me every night and why do you hurt me? I can't have answers. Because you don't talk to me. You just lay there with me and we don't say a word. The silence is a thing we both enjoy. Your eyes, your breathing is filling my heart with something that feels like heroin. 

I hate you but I don't wanna leave you. And you don't let me do that. You always pull me back in and I let you do it. It happens every time I try to walk away. Your eyes make my heart beat faster and your soft voice make my feelings more intense. I am in love with you. You give my life the perfect meaning. Without you I would be middle of a ocean with no one in sight, just floating in the salty water. Without you I would be lost, without you I would have no clue what to do. You give me reason to get out of bed. And that's why I love you, regardless that you hurt me. You give me reason to keep fighting.

And it is unhealthy. But everything is fine because nobody is happy.


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