I Really Am "Stuck"

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
taken from my book, "Must You Find Out?"

Submitted: June 15, 2017

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Submitted: June 15, 2017

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I Really Am "Stuck"

-

Confused as to where I am

"How did I get myself in this mess?"

And "why am I here?"

The tither tather strengths in my thoughts

All just seem to piss me off on a daily basis

When the sounds in my brain echo in my head

I feel nothing but the just punishments

__that I know nothing about

When I slip thru the cracks in my hands

__I fall short on my sleep

____and have to catch up later on

My unfuelled heart can hear the chitter chatter

But my unglued senses leave me lost

__and not found

I can never be found

"Will I ever come around?"

Jesus was supposed to settle my debts

But I am still facing my karma

I have not been lifted of my sins' scars

For, I pay the price, still

__that He supposedly paid for me, already

Now "How do I live with myself?"

"Is there an empty room for a mentally

__and socially crippled?"

I fumbled into that room already

It is small

And there is nobody to clean it but me

But "whatta I do?"

Well, I just leave the dishes in the sink

Refuse to clear the table

Refuse to clean my desk

I'm full of excuses though

"I'm tired"

"I wanna go to bed"

"I can't do that shit right now"

And don't let me tell you about the bathroom sink

Nor thee inside walls of my toilet

You should see my ceiling fan

"I'm too short to clean it"

Well, that one I can understand

But all those other things

__you think I should know better

And I do

But I don't

I've lost hope in maintaining cleanliness

No wonder my life's a mess

I fall down inside

Crumble to pieces in my mind

Watering down my emotions does no good for me

I still walk outside the bound'ries of my mind

I wound up wasted thru the foggy cloudy doom

__that surrounds me

And when ever I pick up after myself

__ever shows up

It's hard to say if it'll ever stick

I'm just tired of this shit

"Why can't I have a wife

__to clean when I can't do it anymore?"

Because marriage will only lead to divorce

When you don't get her pregnant

__to save your marriage

When you don't raze a kid, or kids, together

__just to stick together

____in a matrimony that can fade

______when you don't have any

So the lights have gone out upstairs

It's so dark in my noggin

There's no hope for my sorry ass

'Cause I'm not apologetic enough

__to right my already wrongs

____that I have done

______to the wrong people

Especially the ones not it my life

The wreckage I left behind

Still shows up to haunt me

I tell the world "I don't need anybody"

When in reality I need just that

"Anybody"

Suffering will not end

I know what I need to do

I just don't know where to start

And even if I did

I'll always just avoid doing it

'Cause I can't change who I am

-

06-02-'17

D. L. Cannon


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