The Shadow

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Contently Deranged Travelers
quick write

Submitted: June 16, 2017

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Submitted: June 16, 2017

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Once, long ago,

I made a grave.

In it, I did lay

Half dead

In the dust.

I rolled, crawled and pounded my fists

Inside

Where no one could see.

In a surreal out of touch slumber,

I kept my ears open,

I blinked my eyes

Out of habit-

Out of pattern.

I waited…

I waited

For life to take my hand

Or something

To lift me from the grave-

From the bed I had made.

And here I am at the gates

Of the very same cemetery

Where all the people

 Have already passed

Like ghosts they passed

And moved on.

Nothing to see here

Dust atop dust.

I wonder if that’s what I’ve become

That is, dust

Or perhaps

Another silent whisper

Of despair and confusion

Lost in the wind.

Somehow, I’ve arrived here once again

In this graveyard.

I’m beginning to wonder how I ever left

Or if I ever did.

I always needed a hand

But whenever I sensed a curious glance

It was easier to play dead-

To blend into the scenery.

I didn’t move or flinch

No matter what they said to me.

I’d pretend that I was just fine in that separate place

In that cemetery without time

In that cemetery of mine

There was no one but me

But even in my own world

I was a shadow.

I was nothing.

 That familiar deathly choke,

That darkness

It grabs hold,

Even as I speak.

It has brought me back to this cemetery.

Just when I thought I could move on…

I cough, I wheeze, I sigh.

Here I am again;

Silent and still on the outside

Screaming and crying within.

A shadow still wandering around in my head.

Still, a prisoner counting down the days.

I slowly lost touch with reality

I think

And here, still, I’m crawling

Choking on the very same air

That was taken from me.

Given and taken,

Given and taken.

A chill goes down my spine

As a memory

And a sense of familiarity comes over me…

I’m crawling where I crawled before;

I’m back where I started,

I’m quite sure.

And when I close my eyes

Still, here I stay-

I don’t know why,

It’s not a dream.

I’m not awake.

It doesn’t make sense

But that’s how it feels

In this place.

People pass

They laugh and smile.

I recognize them

Though it’s been such a long while.

They look different

Yet still

I am

The shadow.


© Copyright 2017 unmasked delusions. All rights reserved.

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